Yeah, it's not Friday. You gonna get all tough about it now?
This was passed along to ART LAND from RICK GREEN, co-curator of the Hoverboy museum, along with myself and Marcus Moore. It seemed important enough to the world of Hoverboy fandom to pass along to you.
"Please help me, internet people. It looks like this."
I’m forwarding this from a friend of a friend of an acquaintance of an enemy. Can you publish it on your website?
Dear Hoverboy team,
I have a question about a Hoverboy comic book that belonged to my brother. He is dead after complications during surgery. It was real ironic, because he went into the hospital for a penis enlargement to make his wife happy, and since he died on the operating table she’s been really happy and getting a lot of action from my brother’s friends.
I guess the lesson is, stay in America and have the surgery done by a certified Doctor. When you figure what he spent on airfare to Guatemala it wasn’t much of a savings.
Anyway, although my brother didn’t leave a will, I’m sure he would have wanted me to have his Hoverboy collection. Which is good, cause I DO have it. There are comics and a lot of action figures and some model kits.
My late brother took real good care of the comics, preserving them in plastic bags. Only, having been to my first comic book convention last month I
"This is more of a close up, so you can see it better. It looks like this."
realized the bags are supposed to be clear plastic. My brother died never knowing he had it all wrong, which is probably a mercy. Some of his comics, or rather, my comics, are in mint condition. Some are not. Apparently rats can chew through plastic. (I hope they can’t chew through aluminum or that fancy coffin we got for my brother was a waste.)
I’m trying to reassemble the most damaged comics so I can sell it on E-bay as a kind of tribute to my brother. But here’s the thing, I have this scrap of comic and I can’t figure out which issue it is from. Even the guys at the comic convention couldn’t figure it out. Can you help? (This is actually a photocopy, blown up a bit. The original is back in it’s plastic bag in a rat proof chest of drawers.)
"This is as close as I can get it. It's already going fuzzy. But it looks like this."
PS: It’s not this cover below. I thought it was, because the sky is blue behind his head, but then I realized two things. 1) You can see Hoverboy’s eyes in this cover, and 2) My copy of the cover is the one I scanned, and you can see the head is still there. So it’s not this one. But I don’t know which one it is.
"It's not this one. I don't think it is. "
Okay, gang. Can we help a fellow Hoverophile out of a jam? Does ANYONE recognize the cover image Josh has got that bit of? If you know, send us an email or drop us a comment. We’d like to help this poor sap, and we’ve done our part. Now it’s up to YOU.
And did you notice the Big Chested Hovergirl toy from 1966 he had in the background? And I think a TRAMPLER Mint in Box! Lucky Bastard to have his brother die on him like that. My brother doesn’t have any Hoverboy toys, so I have no reason to wish him dead. But boy, if he did…
Ty the Guy
Oh, and don’t foret to go HERE
, which is HOVERBOY.COM
the home of the Battlin’ Bucket online, where you can read webcomics, watch cartoons, download comics and so much more!! Art Land website assumes no responsibility if you are injured while at the Hoverboy Museum, and remember, it is for entertainment purposes only, no vendors allowed. Void where prohibited. Please keep an eye on a swim buddy and keep your hands inside the cabin at all times. Thank you.
Ty the Guy
Am I serious that I think someone will recognize which cover image this fragment is from? Someone will have it, there’s only about two hundred Hoverboy comics in total, and the net is deep when you cast on the interweb. I’d be surprised if we don’t find the issue within a week. They refuse to list the issues on Comic Book Data Base because of the issue of Bob Stark’s death, and the lawsuits that were involved. But the actual issues still exist, I’ve got a bunch, and have seen scans of at least half of them.
Or is the larger question, am I serious about Hoverboy? And the answer there is, as serious as the pounding fists of bucket justice, my friend.
Ty the Guy.
Co-curator of the Hoverboy Museum
I think it’s from issue #6 of the short-lived easy-to-read series THE ELECTRIC COMPANY PRESENTS … HOVERBUNNY SUPER STORIES. Most copies were shredded, following a court order.* Oddly, the shredded ones are highly desirable to collectors. Intact, they’re worthless.
*The lawsuit was eventually settled quietly. Regardless, the case’s high profile helped Morgan Freeman move onto bigger and better things.
I have to admit, I never collected that far into the Hoverboy sub-genres to get the Hoverbunny Stories, cause the really are stories just for kids. I never liked any of the Hover-Cat and Hover-Dog stories, either, and they only exist in the Annuals anyway. Neither the cat nor the dog had their own series like the rabbit did, and I’ve only got two or three of the Annuals, including the Bi-Annual from 78. But I digress…
I knew a collector who had a whole warehouse full of the pre-shredded number #1 issues back in the nineties–something like two thousand copies of it–all in beautiful shape.
So he tried to unload ’em, as is, and no one would take them, cause you couldn’t do the game with them, that way, which was all the craze at conventions at the time…so this guy tore every issue up by hand, and bagged ’em to sell by mail order…but any idiot could tell a hand torn copy from a court shredded copy, and everyone complained when the bags would arrive. SO it was a mess, he got sued for fraud, etc. Eventually sold the bags of Hoverboy Super-Stories #1 for garden mulch, which actually worked out well. At least he found a use for them.
You know, the absence of the antenna on top of the “helmet” makes me think this might actually be a fragment of an ad for “Chunky Monkey Individually Wrapped Pies”, which Hoverboy shilled for a time, along with other characters unable to make the Hostess Twinkie comics-ad cut.
The ads were actually quite popular at the time, partly because the pies sold well at first, but mostly because they strayed into soft-core pornography on more than one occasion. I have never found evidence of Hoverboy being involved in any of these shenannigans, but I have never looked at Wendy the Good Little Witch in quite the same way.
Eventually, of course, it became clear that Chunky Monkey Individually Wrapped Pies were so named because, in addition to being individually wrapped, they were also made with actual chunks of real monkey, and the product was recalled and given a decent burial. The company CEO, Richard Hornpants, was stoned to death by the feces of the village elders in a small town in Vermont.