This is Italian manga, whatever the hell that is, so it doesn't count as a "real" comic book. Send your angry emails now.
This joyous season, it’s hard enough to get your shopping done, wrap the gifts, and put the tinsel on the tree, without having to escape the many monstrous incarnations of Santa out there, ready to rend your flesh, feast on your bones and make soup from your eyeballs. Lord knows, I never pull it off. It’s why I’m mostly bionic nowadays, having lost much of my original body parts to a zombie Santa years ago. Still, it’s worth it, just to see the look of horror and shock on the innocent faces of the little children Christmas morning.
Here now…
THE TOP SEVEN MONSTER SANTAS IN COMIC BOOKS.
#7
Sure, the Nazis are great traditional monsters, with giant ghostly Nazis doubly so–But it takes that extra bit of pure evil to put on a Santa beard and hat before you go haunting people. Fascist bastards. I hope they lose the war…
#6
Santa Claws, get it? It’s a pun! And a bloody obvious one, at that, though it’s usually reserved for pictures of kitty cats in red stocking caps. At least this version of the pun will rip your face off and make it into a sandwich. That’s an X-Mas “yule” remember. See? Puns are fun.
This is, by the way, the first ever published work of Mike Deodato Jr. , and it’s been all downhill ever since.
#5
He knows when you’ve been sleeping, and he knows when you’re awake, which is a pretty frightening thing when you consider it. And whoever knows fear – BURNS AT THE SANTA-THING’S TOUCH! AHH! AHH! AHHHH! That will warm up even the coldest winter nights.
#4
Milk and cookies? MILK AND COOKIES!?!? I need the blood of virgin children to survive! Maybe comic books ARE bad for children after all. Or maybe they’re only for BAD children. Either way, the comics code is spinning in its grave, which is zombie-like behavior anyway.
Speaking of zombies….
#3
It’s hard to tell, but that looks like a reindeer leg. If so, this monster Santa is not so much as zombie, as someone who likes game meat, and who doesn’t? (Well, maybe my vegetarian wife…) Myself, I’d eat the whole set of reindeer except Rudolph, as the glowing nose suggests radiation poisoning. Still, no milk and cookies for this bad boy, either.
#2
The Nightmare Before “The Nightmare Before Christmas”. The best part of this, by far is that he disguised his face with a plastic mask, but didn’t bother to cover up his rotting meat hands. I guess Santa wears green gloves anyway, so kids wouldn’t know to run until he got close enough to smell.
#1
Robots aren’t usually considered monsters (unless you count my dishwasher, which is clearly satanic on every level), but Futurama’s Robot Santa works at it enough to qualify. His annual killing spree was one of the best reasons to love the TV series, and it’s good to see he visits the comic stores with equally vicious abandon at this time of year. John Goodman hasn’t played a character this evil since King Ralph.
–
That’s it for today Christmas shoppers. Join us back here tomorrow, when the good citizens of the world fight back against this parade of dangerous Kris Kringles in part three of our week long festival of unpleasant Christmas imagery. The Jolly Fat man goes down hard!
Ty the Guy OUT!
For those who missed it: Click on the image below for yesterday’s entry: WHEN SANTAS ATTACK!
Click here for more violence for this happy season!
Here now, your Christmas time comic book moment of zen:
Sometimes, Santa fights for OUR side in the great monster war.
Ty Templeton's ART LAND!! 
I’ve no Santas to add, but I’m going to arbitrarily seize the occasion to recommend one of the best graphic novels I’ve ever read: Notes For a War Story, by Gipi. Magnificent work in all respects. A note (not by the author) in the back says it was done in oils, but I find that very hard to believe – it looks exactly like pen and ink with monochrome watercolor (or ink) wash, and I have no idea why anyone would even attempt to get the same effects in oil.
Very best wishes for a Merry Xmas to Ty and all the Templetons on land and sea!
Paul
I understand the love some people have for Futurama. But, come now, the best monster santa?
Cheers!
Steven G. Willis
XOWComics.com
Three things.
1) It doesn’t look to me like the CCA signed off on that issue of “Blade,” so it should be free to sleep soundly in its grave, knowing that abomination unto the Lord did not enter the world with its approval.
2) I gotta agree with Mr.Willis; going with the Futurama Santa Robot seems a bit of a cop-out given the variety of choices before you.
3) That cover to A Very…Zombie Christmas is freaky as hell.
1) Of course the CCA didn’t sign off on that issue, because the CCA is (essentially) dead, or it wouldn’t have a grave in which to spin. The fact that the cover happened without approval is what caused the spinning.
2) Seriously, no one but me gives the Robot Santa any love? I’m a huge fan of that series and an especially huge fan of that character, so there’s no cop-out involved, just slavering fanboy appreciation. Sorry if our mileage varied but I play the Christmas episodes of Futurama around the house at yuletime as much, if not more than Frosty, Rudolph, Charlie Brown and Miracle on 34th Street. The only other holiday show I like as much is Die Hard.
3) Yes…yes it was. Tomorrow the freaky continues as humanity fights back against the wave of evil Santas. Stay tuned.
I’ve been sort of a lapsed reader, so I missed whatever role that Blade cover played in the death of the CCA. I’m just glad talented writers and artists like yourself are no longer forced to choose between compromise and obscurity.
As for Futurama, I’m a fan. I just felt like the character, owing to originating on the show, should have been excluded or at least given an asterisk. I mean, if it was a list of “brainiest characters in comics,” would you count Mr. Spock? Yes, he’s been a comic character, but it feels wrong for him to supersede characters who originated in the medium. Just my two cents’. (Not sure of the conversion rate, so that may mean even less to you!)
Ah, I see your point – that the Robot Santa is a TV character, and should have been an asterisk in a list of comic book Santas….but he’s still my favorite monster Santa, in any medium, and I went trolling through my Futurama collection until I found a cover with him on it to make the list….That cover was one of the few I chose a ranking for, BEFORE I even knew it existed, I simply hoped there’d be a Robot Santa image on a Bongo comic. I SLIGHTLY concede to your point of view, but stubbornly won’t change his ranking.
The fact that Futurama Robot Santa isn’t primarily a comic book character should not exclude him from topping this list. He is too fantastic to leave out. In fact, if I were creating a list of “Top Christmas Cookie Recipes for Kids”, the #1 spot would STILL go to Futurama Robot Santa.
Awesomeness of that caliber transcends common sense.
Pingback: Santa Wars III: The Heroes Fight Back | Ty Templeton's Art Land
Pingback: SANTA WARS IV: He Knows When You’ve Been Sleeping WITH THE FISHES. The Top Seven Dad Santa Covers | Ty Templeton's Art Land
Pingback: SANTA WARS IV: He Knows When You’ve Been Sleeping WITH THE FISHES. The Top Seven Dead Santa Covers | Ty Templeton's Art Land
Don’t forget in that very fine comic “The Tick” Santa is one of the good guys!
Pingback: SINGING SWORD OF SANTA: The Top Seven Santas with a Bladed Weapon | Ty Templeton's ART LAND!!