Dark Knight Rises in FOUR PANELS!

I promise you….I LOVED the LAST Dark Knight movie. Don’t blame me.

Spoilers ahead, and I don’t mean Stephanie Brown.  Though she would have been cool….

Considering that DARK KNIGHT is one of my favorite movies ever, and Batman is one of my favorite characters ever, and that Inception was, like, an amazing movie, my level of disappointment with this bloated, pretentious, wrong-headed car wreck of a film is a heavy burden.

Please, if you enjoyed this movie, don’t send me hate mail.  You’ll never change my mind.

Ty the Guy OUT!

Here now, your bloated Batman comic book moment:

Art and story by my friend Rob Walton. It’s better than Dark Knight Rises. Except for the Catwoman bits.


For last week’s somber and not-at-all-funny Bun Toons, respectfully click the Bunny above.

For every Bun Toon ever, click the much less dour rabbit above.

20 responses to “Dark Knight Rises in FOUR PANELS!

  1. Love these Bun Toons. Please never stop.
    Gotta agree with you on Anne Hathaway. I was skeptical (despite valuing going into movies with no preconceived notions..I even avoid reviews til after I’ve seen ’em). She won me over immediately. Underutilized, but definitely my favourite moments of the movie. Plus, hasn’t anyone noticed that Bane’s voice sounds like SNL’s Darrell Hammond’s impression of Sean Connery?

  2. I’ll respectfully disagree on the Catwoman thing. That’s like saying Lee Meriwether or – God forbid – Eartha Kitt was a better Catwoman than Julie Newmar. If Julie had had non-camp dialogue, no one would even remember anyone else.

    Hathaway was certainly better than Michelle Pfeiffer or (bwaha) Halle Berry and her little Hawaiian guy stunt double, but her character arc was flat and predictable.

  3. Dude, I’m Chilean, and I understood every word that Bane said, that criticism is completely wrong (IMHO), if you meant that his phrases were actual nonsense, I’d be more willing to agree with you (but I wouldn’t).
    The Plot of this movie makes more sense than the plot of The Dark Knight. The Joker was awesome, but he was able to anticipate things that nobody could have, he is an agent of anarchy fully aware of his own simbolic nature which is just weird. Bane on the other hand has a plan (and I won’t spoil the movie, so I won’t say exactly how he has it), that’s informed by the previous movies… Bane is the villain that a careful watcher of the 2 previous movies could be, He knows his enemy and he plans accordingly.
    I still liked the second movie better but I think that’s because Ledger’s performance was incredible powerful, plot-wise, this is a more sound movie, it’s like they took that nonsense that was No Man’s Land and found a way to make it plausible, within the realm of a movie blockbuster. I think it was a solid movie and a good ending for the trilogy.
    My main complain would be that if you are going to do some fan service at the end of the movie and you throw a totally unnecesary scene, make it a fully faithful comicbook reference, instead of one that a common viewer would catch… and that barely qualifies as a “main complain”.

  4. I suspect that the theatre I saw the film at had something wrong with their sound system, as I had quite a bit of trouble hearing most of the actors over the sound track. Bane was by far the worst though. I’ve spoken to folks who had equal trouble making out the dialogue, so it might have been the actual film, rather than any particular theatre.

  5. Whats the dick move Batman pulls? Not coming to me… Help?

  6. Death faking? (And the pain that causes the people who care, not that there’s that many still caring about whiney-boy.)

  7. Anne Hathaway as Catwoman: “I’ll buy that for a dollar!”


    Steven Willis

  8. Agree on Anne Hathaway, Ty. And there was nothing wrong with your theater’s sound system. This is a common complaint about this film.

  9. Travis Pelkie

    Hell, if Bane actually says “Gotham Jello Monkey” in the film, I might actually go see it.

    And is that Ragmop’s Rob Walton that did that Pork Knight book? That’s awesome. I must find that now! The ’80s ruled!

  10. I gave the cast an A and the script a C. I thought a lynch mob was gonna form (;

  11. Thank you so much for this. I was afraid everybody had lost their minds.

  12. Geee, am I the only one who admittedly hates Nolan’s movies? Heck, by comparison I found Schumacher’s movies to be much more Batman-like…. and we all know those movies were real bad.

    The only Batman movies I ever liked were Tim Burton’s.

    I can’t be the only person in the world who sees how bad Nolan’s movies are…. it can’t be!

  13. Just IMAGINE what La Belle Michelle’s Selina would do to Hathaway….

  14. Okay. Is it all right if I take half an hour?

  15. Finally saw it myself last night and I would say:
    1) Hathaway as Catwoman – pretty good, but the best only because she was given the best script. I still lean heavily towards Pfeiffer in these discussions.
    2) Bane – very difficult to understand with the mask, and did indeed sound just like Hammond’s Sean Connery.
    3) Batman – he’s been causing the deaths of innocents throughout the entire trilogy but I don’t blame him. Anyone who still chooses to live in Gotham after all this has no one to blame but themselves.
    4) Alfred and Lucius: Agree with Lucius, disagree with Alfred. They gave Michael Caine the chance to act and he made the most of it.

    • Yes, Michael got a chance to act, but Alfred didn’t have anything to do. His part of the story was to wax sadly, and be kicked out of the house. He didn’t contribute to saving the city, or rescuing Batman (although some might point out he inspired Batman to rescue himself, but that’s only if the ending didn’t enrage you, as it did me.)

  16. Thanks for adding sense to the madness again. I took my 10-year-old to see this yesterday. He liked it much more than I did, but we both the indecipherable Bane and Batman conversations. It generated a lot of unintentional laughs for such a dark, scary movie.

    Julie Newmar’s still the best, but your Anne Hathaway ain’t bad. Looking forward to our battle.

  17. I agree with everything. But…since Nolan was obviously doing Miller’s Dark Knight he should DO Dark Knight. Marvel believes in their characters and only changes them slightly. Warner Bros. feels the need to alter/change/update their characters until the entire character falls apart. AND, if the mask doesn’t work right, PUT BATMAN IN THE DEEP SHADOWS. Hide him. No one wants to see Bale’s cheeks poking out. Gordon-Levitt figures out Bruce is Batman in ONE MEETING. Gordon can’t figure it out for decades. And for the love of humanity, someone tell me why Ras Al Ghul is trying to destroy Gotham and NOTHING ELSE. I was hoping for the “attraction”/”heir” twist to Talia…but nothing.

    Anne was pretty cute, but…I like Julie Newmar better. No cats, either. Sigh.

  18. My problem with these Nolan-Batman movies is that they’re good movies – well directed and all – but they’re bad Batman stories – the dude’s barely in those! And so off-treated, misrepresented, etc..

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