Tag Archives: Christmas

Holiday Bun Toons! YAY!

If there's anything that you want...if there's anything I can do...just call on me, and I'll send it along...

If there’s anything that you want…if there’s anything I can do…just call on me, and I’ll send it along…

I didn’t want to be the one to break this story, but there’s been a lot of controversy lately, and only the actual truth will put the rumours to rest.

north pole babylon websizeI’m sorry if there were any kids reading this.  But we all have to grow up and face the real world some time.

Ty the Guy OUT!

Now, today’s amusing ponderable…

linus with blanket

What was Schultz trying to tell us?  Sparky might have been more subtle than we know…

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bat toons link

For last week’s re-run Bat-Toon extravaganza, click the link above

For previous Christmas Bun Toons, Santa Lists, and Cover Galleries, click the merry moose above

For previous Christmas Bun Toons, Santa Lists, and Cover Galleries, click the merry moose above

Christmas Bun Toons! YAY!

happy cringle and the merry middle moose.

happy cringle and the merry middle moose.

The winter solstice is upon us soon, and, unless that Mayan Calendar is to be believed, Christmas is leaping up quicker than a tiger at a steak convention.  For a half-Jewish atheist from Canada, it’s a special time of a year for me and my family.  So I share…

websizeYes Virginia, there is a Prince of Darkness.  But he’s not worth the bicycle.

I wonder if the snow falling on this Bun Toon will put out the fire in Lucifer’s heart?  We can only hope.

Ty the Guy OUT!

Here now, your BONUS Satan Comic Book Christmas!

son of satan 1It is not well known, but the SON OF SATAN comic book produced by Marvel Comics in the mid-seventies was the result of a typo.  It was originally going to be marketed as “SON OF SANTA”…

son of satan 12…which is why Damian’s sled is always being pulled by hell-beast versions of Dancer and Prancer and Blitzen.

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For last week's Bun Toon about the Fantastic Four, click the Invisible Woman above...what do you mean you can't see her?

For last week’s Bun Toon about the Fantastic Four, click the Invisible Woman above…what do you mean you can’t see her?

For every Bun Toon ever (and yes, the archives have been updated!) click the very positive bunny above.

For every Bun Toon ever (and yes, the archives have been updated!) click the very positive bunny above.

Holiday Bun Toons! YAY!

For the Great Pumpkin commands me!

Ever since I was a child, the great debate was about which holiday was the best all year.   To me, it was never close.

It’s not even close.

Ty the Guy OUT!

And now, as if there was still a chance Christmas was still in the running, here’s your BONUS Halloween Comic Book Moments.

Today is FREE HALLOWEEN COMIC BOOK DAY! Come to the shop and get this BATMAN ADVENTURES comic book (written and drawn by Dan Slott and Ty Templeton!) for FREE!

Today is FREE HALLOWEEN COMIC BOOK DAY! Come to the shop and get this Marvel Adventures comic book (featuring Spider-Man, written and drawn by Dan Slott and Ty Templeton!) for FREE!

Yes!  It’s FREE COMIC BOOK DAY in the fall, and it features not one, but TWO comics by Dan Slott and myself.  Remember, you can’t spell “FREE COMICS” without Dan Slott and Ty Templeton.  And I’ll be appearing in person at STADIUM COMICS  in Brampton’s SHOPPERS WORLD MALL to give the lovely treats away!  (See yesterday’s Art Land Post for details).

And hey…don’t forget my latest issue of Ultimate Spider-Man Adventures is on sale today as well.  (Though you have to pay for that one…)

What wacky Halloween adventures do I have in store for Spidey This Month?!?

Who says it isn’t the Ty Templeton Age of Spider-Man Halloween Comics?

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For last week’s “controversial conversation betwixt father and son” Bun Toon, click above.

For the archive of past Bun Toons (which needs an update, I know, stop nagging me, I promise I’ll do it!) click above

Ride ‘em Kringle! The Top Seven Alternative Methods of Transportation for Santa Claus.

These titles are getting longer, just like the nights.

With the price of gas, the concern for the environment, and the need to be ahead of the hipness curve, people are talking about alternative transportation.

Therefore, so are we.

THE TOP SEVEN ALTERNATIVES TO SANTA’S TRADITIONAL SLEIGH.

Number #7

THE  SNOWMOBILE

What makes this Dennis the Menace cover from 1967 an outstanding example of the commonplace sleigh-Skidoo-switcheroo genre is the gleeful mix of reindeer abandonment and felony kidnapping.

Number #6

 The Grim Toboggan.  

The man in the top hat knows that the night of swallowing uppers, bathtub gin, and the lies of a red-suited lumberjack have led to this… their deaths on a plummeting toboggan.

Number #5

The Sex Rocket

With two balls of spitting fire and a control basket jammed tight up into Father Ho-Ho’s man-business, Dell’s Santa Claus Funnies #66 produced an image from my childhood I’ve never been able to un-see.  Whatever madness gripped their cover artist to produce this Freudian nightmare, thank god it never happened again.

Number #4

The Sex Jeep.

He’s riding the steering wheel with his balls!   His BALLS, people!  How is this going to happen?   Once Santa realized how ill fitting this jeep was for his ungainly physique, he simply wouldn’t have started the engine.  Use logic!   Think of the children!

Number #3

 The Future Tech Cyborg Hovercar Thing, Mounted with the Severed Head of Rudolph, Kept Alive by Cruel Science

That’s what I see here.  I might be wrong, but I think that’s the hellish dystopia that lays ahead for Rudolph in the world of Archie 3000.   I truly hope this is saving a lot of gasoline or something, or it’s just a tragic waste of a glowing deer.

Number #2

FEAR.

Fear gives you the wings that Red Bull only promises you, and it  gets you two blocks away faster than a bus.  The people terrifying St. Nick here include a serial killer, a demon with hell-born powers, a homicidal rage addict shouting death threats, and a pagan deity with the power to summon lightning.  RUN,  Santa!  Don’t slow down for Blitzen, he’s already lost!

Number #1

Human Enslavement.

Kids: If looking at this makes you ticklish, see a doctor.

When the reindeer are on strike, or have been recently eaten (in this economy, meat is expensive), Santa turns to people with super-powers, and enslaves them to his will.

It was a either a life of servitude, or be put to the fire.

Bwah hah hah! You must do my bidding Superman! I control your very WILL!

Tune in tomorrow when we look below the phony beard and uncover the legion of Imposter Santas!

Ty the Guy OUT!

Now, your BONUS Alternate Transportation Santas:

It’s Jerry Garcia from the Grateful Dead. He’s taking a trip without the sleigh, get it? Get it? It’s that 70s drug humor that Chevy Chase made famous.

Okay then, we’ll leave you with this.

Why do I find this funny? It's because it's a Vortex comic, right?

Click below for more Christmas joy:

SINGING SWORD OF SANTA: The Top Seven Santas with a Bladed Weapon

Click here for last year's post.

Where the First Noel meets the First to draw blood.  Where the Slay Bells can be heard.  When there’s murder coming down the chimney.  Something about the happy holidays brings out the cynical bastard and the terrible pun comedy writer in a certain segment of the population, and that segment creates and reads comic books, clearly.

Last year I ran a few Santa Comic covers involving Father Christmas and gun play.  This season, we go the more medieval route and deal with the sharp, pointy Christmas every emergency room can enjoy.  Get out the band-aids and “score” along at home, kiddies, it’s why he’s called St. “Nick”.   Here’s …

THE TOP SEVEN COMIC BOOK SANTAS WITH AN EDGE

#7

DON’T MAKE SANTA CUT YOU, MAN!

It’s by far the smallest blade we’ll be seeing today, on, by far, the most famous comic.  Frank Miller wrote this issue (and I believe did a thumbnail cover sketch) so you can assume Santa is attacking Matt Murdoch because he’s a smelly, blind, protester.  This iconic Daredevil image (actually rendered by David Mazzucchelli) is both a delightful entry into the Pointy Santa genre, and an opportunity to call Frank Miller an asshole in public again, and we all enjoy that.

 #6

PUNS ARE FUN

Everyone succumbs to this joke when they run out of pride, and it usually involves lol cats with red hats on.  This cover above is a good example of the Santa Claws with pointy fingers genre, but the real winner is Mike Deodato’s seminal work on the subject “What if Santa Claus and Wolverine Had a Love Child?” from last year’s Monster Santas List.    It’s worth noting that Deodato begins his career in the comics biz with the cover to the left.  Now he draws the Avengers with the real life Wolverine in it.  Dreams do come true.

#5

UP ON THE ROOFTOP, RUN LIKE HELL!

You’ve heard of Axe-Cop?  Meet Axe-Santa, the lovable elf with no time for subtlety or living witnesses.  Creepy Magazine was so happy with the idea of an axe-wielding Kris Kringle that they brought him back more than once.

Later, he got INSIDE the house. Ho ho horrifying!

#4

FORGED IN THE FIRES OF THE NORTH POLE!

These Katana blades are cursed.  Once drawn, they must taste the blood of naughty children or thousands will die.  Or something like that.  The darn thing writes itself.

#3

Dodgem Logic.

Santa is the reaper of death, carrying a HUGE scythe,  riding us all down on a hell-reindeer.  That’s seven levels of awesome sauce in the same jar. Alan Moore edits and publishes this magazine, so it’s sure to be adapted into a film he’ll be taking his name off of, any day now.  It’s probably about wizard magic, hemp rings and Thatcher’s politics anyway, so you’re not missing much.

#2

By This Axe, I Yule.

( I told you puns are fun.)

You know this guy got the axe by taking it from the cold dead hands of the skinny red bastard on the Creepy covers a few entries back. This is a Santa who knows how to stop creatures from stirring all through the house. What could possibly be better than the man who brings you the blessings of Crom’s hatred each winter?

#1

SAMURAI SANTA

You asked what could be better, and I delivered.   This too-cool-for-yule bad ass stoneface killer is the ultimate in blade based Christmas covers.  There’s no possible way any Santa could ever be more…

#1 +

SAVAGE  SAMURAI SANTA vs. GINGERBREAD NINJAS

I stand corrected.  Everything is better if it’s “Savage”,“New”, “Extreme”  or “wrapped in tasty bacon”, and when don’t we want more ninjas?    Most importantly, look at his eyes;  he’s preparing to totally KILL DOWN on those gingerbread dragon-tong-sensei-kung-fu-cookie-men, so I’m on his side!

Next year:  New Bacon-Wrapped Savage Samurai Santa in Extreme Warrior Lemon Scented Action.  He’ll be fighting vampires, if they know their marketing.

Ty the Guy OUT!

Here now, your BONUS Santa with a Blade

It’s a different kind of blade, obviously.

DOCTOR DOOM BUN TOONS. YAY!!

You are all at my mercy...and Doom HAS no mercy.

If this one doesn’t speak for itself, then I have no business cartooning.  It’s a spiritual sequel of sorts to a BUN TOON I did for DC Comics a few years back. It seems only fair that Marvel gets a shot.

Ah, but you knew the winner going in.

Wait, does this mean Christmas season is upon us?  It IS the moment of DOOM.

Ty the Guy OUT!

Now, here’s your BONUS Doctor Doom Christmas moment:

Courtesy of John Byrne, the comic industry's "Mr. Christmas".

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For last week's childish Bun Toon click here.

for every sophisticated, adult Bun Toon ever, click the mature bunny.

**UPDATED:  for every Christmas Toon, and the Christmas lists from last December check out CHRISTMAS with TY

Where Santas Dwell. The Top Seven MONSTER Santas.

This is Italian manga, whatever the hell that is, so it doesn't count as a "real" comic book. Send your angry emails now.

This joyous season, it’s hard enough to get your shopping done, wrap the gifts,  and put the tinsel on the tree, without having to escape the many monstrous incarnations of Santa out there, ready to rend your flesh, feast on your bones and make soup from your eyeballs.  Lord knows, I never pull it off.  It’s why I’m mostly bionic nowadays, having lost much of my original body parts to a zombie Santa years ago.  Still, it’s worth it, just to see the look of horror and shock on the innocent faces of the little children Christmas morning.

Here now…

THE TOP SEVEN MONSTER SANTAS  IN  COMIC BOOKS.

#7

Sure, the Nazis are great traditional monsters, with giant ghostly Nazis doubly so–But it takes that extra bit of pure evil to put on a Santa beard and hat before you go haunting people.  Fascist bastards.  I hope they lose the war…

#6

Santa Claws, get it?  It’s a pun!  And a bloody obvious one, at that, though it’s usually reserved for pictures of kitty cats in red stocking caps.  At least this version of the pun will rip your face off and make it into a sandwich.  That’s an X-Mas “yule” remember.  See?  Puns are fun.

This is, by the way, the first ever published work of Mike Deodato Jr. , and it’s been all downhill ever since.

#5

He knows when you’ve been sleeping, and he knows when you’re awake, which is a pretty frightening thing when you consider it.  And whoever knows fear – BURNS AT THE SANTA-THING’S TOUCH!  AHH!  AHH!  AHHHH!  That will warm up even the coldest winter nights.

#4

Milk and cookies?  MILK AND COOKIES!?!?  I need the blood of virgin children to survive!  Maybe comic books ARE bad for children after all.  Or maybe they’re only for BAD children.  Either way, the comics code is spinning in its grave, which is zombie-like behavior anyway.

Speaking of zombies….

#3

It’s hard to tell, but that looks like a reindeer leg.  If so, this monster Santa is  not so much as zombie, as someone who likes game meat, and who doesn’t? (Well, maybe my vegetarian wife…) Myself,  I’d eat the whole set of reindeer  except Rudolph, as the glowing nose suggests radiation poisoning.   Still, no milk and cookies for this bad boy, either.

#2

The Nightmare Before “The Nightmare Before Christmas”.   The best part of this, by far is that he disguised his face with a plastic mask, but didn’t bother to cover up his rotting meat hands.  I guess Santa wears green gloves anyway, so kids wouldn’t know to run until he got close enough to smell.

#1

Robots aren’t usually considered monsters (unless you count my dishwasher, which is clearly satanic on every level), but Futurama’s Robot Santa works at it enough to qualify.  His annual killing spree was one of the best reasons to love the TV series, and it’s good to see he visits the comic stores with equally vicious abandon at this time of year.   John Goodman hasn’t played a character this evil since King Ralph.

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That’s it for today Christmas shoppers.  Join us back here tomorrow, when the good citizens of the world fight back against this parade of dangerous Kris Kringles in part three of our week long festival of unpleasant Christmas imagery.   The Jolly Fat man goes down hard!

Ty the Guy OUT!

For those who missed it:  Click on the image below for yesterday’s entry: WHEN SANTAS ATTACK!

Click here for more violence for this happy season!

Here now, your Christmas time comic book moment of zen:

Sometimes, Santa fights for OUR side in the great monster war.

Saturday Christmas Comics YAY!

Just like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

‘Tis the season to be jolly, and what better way is there to usher in that feeling than a visit from Santa’s agent, Sid Meshkin?

More Christmas silly as the week continues…we’re counting down to the big day when Merry Kringle comes to visit.  See you ’round Art Land.

Here now, your comic book moment of zen:

Dean Martin, during his nine year stint as a Howling Commando.

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Animated Harley and Ivy, sort of…

I know I should wait for Christmas, but I only just saw this today.  My friend Elise Archer (Harley Cosplayer Supreme) tweeted, or posted, or did whatevah one does with animated gifs, so I repost it here…with a thanks.

It’s the cover for a Christmas catalog I drew from about ten years ago.  (The only time I’ve ever actually drawn Harley Quinn for any publication, oddly enough) But it’s been animated much more recently than that.

Fun, what shows up online.

Ty the Guy

(Ty’s memory is shot–all the LDS he did in the 60s--he’s drawn Harley a couple of times.  But this was the first!–kts)

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The Best Hoverboy X-Mas Friday Yet!

Since Hoverboy Friday turns out to be on a Monday this week, I’ve got a special treat for those not in the know.  It’s the trailer for the lost film “Hoverboy Destroys Christmas“, produced in the late forties for an audience that was jaded by war, but still wanted to see things blow up on film, especially reindeer.

On a special note, one of the original producers of this film, Morey Marconi, announced recently (at the age of ninety-one) that he’s expecting his first child.  Congrats, Morey…I hope you live to see him graduate from kindergarten.

Hoverboy AWAY!!!

Oh!  Here’s the link to the film.

Ty the Guy