Saturday Morning Cartoons

Glue yourselves into your atomic fun chairs, fellow babies.  It’s before noon on a Saturday…

Ah, this time I KNEW it was the weekend.  Saw it coming for days.  And today is a fun treat for fans of Space Cows, Hoverboy, and more free webcomics than you could heave a dead raccoon at.

First off:  SPACE COWS!

Oh, I forgot to mention this to Stavros.  I’m giving Hoverboy the Space Cows one last time as we finish up our month-long Hoverboy contest.

And what IS the Hoverboy Contest?

LAST TIME!!  We’re looking for YOUR Hoverboy Memories.  Head over to the HOVERBOY FANPAGE on Facebook, or  enter here at ART LAND on BUN TOONS day.

What we need is the name of your FAVORITE Hoverboy Villain…one that we’ve never seen before online, and tomorrow we’ll be picking the winning entry.

WHAT DO THEY GET?

A stunningly accurate reproduction of the cover featuring your “remembered” villain.  The reproduction will be by Ty The Guy Templeton, and will be so accurate, you’ll SWEAR it was the original.  Head over to www.hoverboy.com for more Hoverboy fun, and over HERE to join the Hoverboy Fanpage.

Okay…and just a couple more SPACE COWS before we move on.  They’re an addiction, like raisin cookies, heroin or beating the step-kids.

It's eerie, just like it's supposed to be.

And now, the ONLY new Hoverboy story in the last thirty years, and never before seen online!  FULL AND COMPLETE in this blog!

Take yourself back to those heady days…when Gasoline cost a lot more than it did a few years before, but at least it wasn’t filling up the Gulf of Mexico –  When a white man was still able to be president, just not a particularly competent one – and when people could watch Lost, secure in the knowledge that it would all wrap up in a satisfying, and not at all, sucky sucky way.

Set the way-back machine to Bush Era Super-heroes, with…

HOVERBOY:  THE REPUBLICAN SUPERHERO  2007!

SCRIPT BY TY TEMPLETON

ART BY STEVE MOLNAR

COLOURS BY BERNIE MIREAULT

COVER BY JASON EDMISTON

LETTERS BY K T SMITH

It’s funny because it’s ghastly and frightening.

Remember to head to the FACEBOOK FAN PAGE, or hit the COMMENTS BUTTON at the end of the post to give us your HOVERBOY memories before tomorrow night.  The more the merrier, and the original art ain’t gonna give itself away.  Our next Hoverboy contest is just going to be these cheap crappy decoder rings from the 1940s!  Wait, seriously?!?

THOSE THINGS ARE AWESOME!

Ty the Guy

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Saturday Morning Cartoons

WHO is responsible for the calendar, as I’m certain Saturday wasn’t due for at least three or four more days….?  But it’s here, and so is BUN TOONS, as regular as a bran-filled man in his mid-thirties.

I thought folks might enjoy a gentle gag about the Catholic Church that doesn't mention the criminal cover-up-of-rapists angle. Which I've just blown by mentioning in this caption...whoops.

NOW:  A  special HOVERBOY version of BUN TOONS this week.

All the beloved SPACE COWS  of THE LAST ROUND-UP will return next week, with more Bovine SF adventures. But now, we’re continuing with HOVERBOY WEEK with a NEVER BEFORE SEEN ONLINE COMPLETE HOVERBOY STORY. (All in service of the HOVERBOY “WIN SOME ORIGINAL ART BY TY” contest…go HERE and HERE for contest details)

FIRST:  Here’s the latest HOVERBOY vs. NAZI ROBOTS strips.

YELLOW PERIL MYSTERY FUNNIES #1

Unlike other superheroes of the second world war, Hoverboy spent the duration fighting only on the American homefront.  It might have been because co-creator C.L. “Charlie” Nutt had been classified 4-F-C (a rare designation that meant UNFIT FOR MILITARY SERVICE because of BIOLOGICAL COWARDICE), but the reason most often given in interviews with Nutt was that “…Johnny Stay-At-Home goldbricks deserved a super-hero, too!  We can’t all serve our country or our God, and folks like to look up to someone who’s not serving, just like them!”

This premiere issue of YELLOW PERIL MYSTERY FUNNIES featured five stories, all of which focus on a theme of distrusting people of Asian descent, a subject which was acceptable during the war years, when the phrase “Yellow Peril” (coined by beloved Pre-Nazi Kaiser Wilhelm II, reknowned racist and inventor of the concept of “World War”) was actively promoted by the Hearst Papers.

The “Yellow Peril” title was Hoverboy’s best selling comic in 1942, and the series remained quite popular until the 1950s, a fact often covered up by modern comic historians who like to gloss over the overt racism of the times.  This issue in particular is extremely rare to find intact, as most copies, when discovered, are instantly burned by people with a conscience.

ONE LAST NOTE:  The final line of the story “Night of the Terror” is something we considered editing out, but to serve historical accuracy, we decided to leave it in…with the caveat that it offends us more than it does you, believe me.

AND NOW:  YELLOW PERIL MYSTERY FUNNIES 1942

NIGHT OF THE TERRORS!

Wow.  Just awful, but that was America in 1942, fighting what is now considered the “Last Good War” by the “Greatest Generation”….there’s a reason why it’s called “White-washing” history to pretend this stuff didn’t happen.

———————————————————–

And one last image of SPACE COWS, as I cannot resist their allure:

Admit it…the concept is hypnotic to behold.

See you next week, with the TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF STAVROS AND LANA, and other stuff I find funny.

TY THE GUY OUT!

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HOVERBOY CONTEST ENTRIES POUR IN!

We’ve gotten some entries, and we’re getting more every day! And since some of them are wonderful (and some of them are simply vile and hateful, you know who you are, vile entrants) we’re going to share these delightful Hoverboy memories with you Bucket People!

In terms of early animation from the twenties, this Li'l Bucketboy short is about as "limited" as it gets, with a total of only 38 different frames, repeated in a loop for seven minutes.

But first, it’s been pointed out to me by a friend, that today marks the LONGEST period of time since Hoverboy’s original creation we’ve ever seen, and tomorrow will be even LONGER! But there’s no time like the present to head back to the past and examine the origins of everyone’s favorite bucket wearing hero…or at least he’s in everyone’s top three.

Our research has suggested Hoverboy was first created as a tribute to Peter Nutt, the famous circus freak known as The Amazing Head, and father of Hoverboy co-creator Charlie Nutt. Our research has also suggested he was created as a flat out steal from this character, “Li’l Bucketboy”, who appeared in a 1932 animated film.

It's probably best if you don't mention the character is wearing a spitoon for a diaper.

One of the first animated characters to truly fail at the box office, Li’l Bucketboy was banned in 29 states , according to the New York Times, May 23rd edition of that year, for “…truly poor craftsmanship and racism even our Klan dominated era cannot abide”.

Our research has also led us to discover that science fiction legend HUGO GERNSBACK was involved, perhaps even earlier, as this edition of his 1912 magazine MODERN ELECTRONICS suggests.

At this point, did anyone truly CREATE Hoverboy, or is he part of the Jungian subconscious?

In an interview with  Rob Goodwin, official publisher of NASA Mission Reports (and very serious science fiction historian) told us,

“…when he [Hugo Gernsback] came to America in 1904, the first thing he did was he spent $30 of his first $100 on buying a bucket.”

This is Rob Godwin. You can trust him. He works for NASA, and he's a friend of Buzz Aldrin's. Really.

“Buying a bucket” was a term used in conjunction with the “Slopping” industry of the early 1900’s. In the crowded, dirty streets of New York at the turn of the century, slopping was a booming industry. Animal feed, water, milk, and feces all needed to be transported quickly and cheaply. “Sloppers” were really the bicycle couriers of their day.

“By “Buying a Bucket”, you bought not only a physical bucket, but the slopping rights to a particular piece of territory, which turned out to be the beginning of the road to success for Gernsback, father of modern Science Fiction.”

A delightful, if quick, interview on film with Rob can be seen HERE.

There will be more on the history of the Hovering Hero as we  uncover these important facts.

Can't you feel the patriotism just oozing from this image?

AND NOW:  Some of the entries in our WORLD SPANNING HOVERBOY CONTEST, open to all members of the HOVERBOY FACEBOOK FANPAGE.

THE CONTEST:  Drop us an email over at the fanpage, and tell us your FAVORITE Hoverboy villain from the past…one that we have NOT featured in this column or at the online Hoverboy Museum yet, and at the end of the month of May, we’ll pick the winning entry out of a bucket and send the winner a STUNNING recreation of the original art for the cover, drawn by Ty Templeton himself!   We promise, the recreation will be so line for line perfect, you’d SWEAR it was the original. <

SOME ENTIRES:

“The Procrastinator, who technically remains undefeated by Hoverboy because he’s been rescheduling their final showdown for 14 years and counting. He gained his powers when a dying time-traveler gave him his damaged chrono-ring, allowing him to put off until tomorrow any event he’d rather not do today.”  –Ray Yelle

“Greco-Roman Steve: With a physique that rivals Hoverboy, Greco-Roman Steve wins any battle that starts in the wresting ring and often creates elaborate plots that force Hoverboy into submissive positions.”  –Adam Borg

“Time is the enemy, the enemy of us all, but especially Hoverboy.  An eons-old curmudgeon trapped in the cherub-body of baby new year. The piss, vile and vinegar that comes with old age spewing from the two-toothed mouth of the insane mastermind know as Mr. Time.”  –Dana Moreshead (former head of creative services at Marvel Comics, and Hoverboy Fan Club member #00015)

8

“The Forgotten, who didn’t care enough to show up for any meetings of the Apathy Three. Potentially the most fearsome member of this uber-alliance of enemies. Maybe. I think. Meh.”   –Ray Yelle

8

“I think that HARDCOVER, the literary-based villain and former librarian who has turned to a life of crime after the untimely murder of his beloved Grammar, was my favorite.”  –Ken Turner

“The MOP is the ultimate Hoverboy nemesis! He absorbs all liquids, and since the human body is 60% water, he leaves his victims seriously incapacitated, not to mention dehydrated! And he has never seen a bucket he could resist!” –Movie Seals

“Mein Sweeper, the dastardly pewter-age villain who murdered Duck and Cover Boy in cold mud still gives me chills.”  – Rob Pincombe (story editor for the very popular animated TV show “KID vs. KAT” ).

This is just a small sampling of the floating memories we’ve uncovered during this contest, and your memory is needed as well…even if your memory is faulty and prone to imagination, we’re HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU!  Don’t let major industry professionals like Dana Moreshead and Rob Pincombe beat you to the Bucket Punch!  Enter today!

TOMORROW:  For FREE WEBCOMICS SATURDAY, we continue Hoverboy Week, with the latest Strips, and a COMPLETE Hoverboy story from WW2, never before seen online!  You better bring oxygen, cause we plan to take your breath away.

Ty the Guy, OUT!

It’s HOVERBOY week! And no one can stop me!

We’re promoting Hoverboy awareness all week at Art Land, running a contest and informing the world of the greatness that was the Battlin’ Bucket, in anticipation of the release of the HOVERBOY RADIO SERIES we just found a complete set of, and yes, this is an unforgivable run-on sentence, what are you going to do about it, punk?

May-1918 • Hoverboy co-creator Charles Nutt’s father, Peter Nutt, is horribly wounded during the Battle Of Cantigny, the first major US offensive of the

Pvt. Peter Nutt, pictured before the battle. Trousers not shown.

First World War.  The elder Nutt had tried to stay out of the war; claiming heart attacks, blindness, medical cowardice, “secret negroism” and leprosy, none of which earned him the deferment he desired.   Peter spent the fall of 1917,  training with the 28th Infantry of America’s 1st Army Division, and staining a record one hundred and eleven pairs of government issued trousers with what officials described as “terror”.  In battle, Private 1st Class Nutt frequently could be found  with a bucket on his head, (over his helmet and gas mask), because, according to his diaries,  “…ya can’t be too careful, right?”.  And on the fateful day of May 27th, that’s how Private Nutt went over the top, charging towards the Hun blindly, and “screaming like a tiny Chinese woman” (also according to his diary).  When he was hit simultaneously by two artillery shells, it blew off both legs, both arms and almost all of his internal organs, leaving only his head, heart, lungs and genitalia unharmed.  This event was the source of the famous expression “a real bucket case” used in army hospitals to this day.  For years after the war, Nutt toured the Midwest Freak Circuit as “the Amazing Head”, where he met a young Cynthia Göring, and fell in love.  That marriage produced three children, including Charles and his twin sisters, Emily and Emily.

The Starks meet for the first time while the Circus tours Missouri. Cynthia is to the left. Peter is wearing his "performin' suit".

In 1929, the family opened the Nutt Hardware Store in North Bend Missouri, where a young Bob Stark was sent to purchase “something to hold some water” and the rest is history.

The moment of Nutt's debilitating injury was captured in the famous image by photographer Dan Williams, entitled "Our Honored Exploded".

1964 • First (and last) issue of HOVERBOY’S FOOD FUN MAGAZINE hits newsstands.  For collectors who own this hard to find item, answer to page seven’s “Vegetable Tumble” is RUTABAGA.

Caution: Do NOT attempt any of the recipes contained within.

1990 • Hoverboy Anime show “Lucky Hovering Float Boy American” airs in Japan.  Though partly financed by the Nutt estate, the show is never brought to US airwaves because the staccato animation style used during fight scenes caused seizures in forty-seven thousand Japanese children.  Though none of the children died, over nine thousand parents were killed trying to restrain them.

Sailor Hover-Girlaru. The only image from the series allowed to be shown in the USA by law.

Tune in tomorrow for a special HOVERBOY TOYS report.

And don’t forget:  THE HOVERBOY CONTEST!  Win an original piece of Hoverboy artwork by Ty Templeton just by joining the Hoverboy Facebook page, and naming your favorite villain from Vigilance Comics’ decades long history of publishing.  A winner (drawn by lottery by Hoverboy actress Sarah Samms) will receive an ASTOUNDINGLY accurate reproduction of the winning cover, with such line-by-line fidelity that you’d swear it was the original cover!  Be the envy of your friends.  Push around people smaller than you, and berate those with foreign accents, just like a real life citizen of Arizona!  Remember, few will enter, even fewer will win.  Void where prohibited.  Your mileage may vary.

GO here

for the Hoverboy Facebook Fan Page.  And HERE for the Hoverboy home site.

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