Tag Archives: Hoverboy

Hoverboy Week Continues! VIDEO GAME EDITION

We’re still promoting Hoverboy awareness at ART LAND, in light of the contest we’re running at the Hoverboy Facebook Fanpage, where HOVERBOY-o-philes can win a piece of ORIGINAL Hoverboy artwork, just by joining that Fanpage, naming their favorite Hoverboy villain from the past, and waiting patiently while the winning entry is drawn from a bucket by superstar actress Sarah Samms at the end of the month!

But first…Hoverboy was featured JUST THIS WEEK on G4 TV!

The hosts of G4's "X-Play", luring viewers in with their strange but exciting version of a wet T-Shirt contest.

It’s  hard to believe it’s been nearly thirty years since the Hoverboy family of games were produced for the SOFTIE GAMES system in the EXCITE-O-VISION format, and even harder to believe that they were given an odd revival of sorts this week by Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb, hosts of the show X-Play (on G4 TV) .  Their annual “TRIBUTE TO UNPOPULAR VIDEO GAMES” episode featured the Floating Fighter of Crime this time around, and Hoverfans were not disappointed.   Here Morgan is dressed as Hovergirl, hero of the highly unsucessful 8 bit game “Hovergirl’s Shopping Spree” from 1982. For gameplay your character floated through a downtown neighborhood shoplifting things from various strip malls and hiding them up her shirt.  As the shirt bulges up, your score increases, but you get hit on by various swarthy men, and your morality and intelligence meter goes down.  According to the rules, a woman with a “big bulging shirt” is less smart or trustworthy.

A screen capture of HOVERGIRL'S SHOPPING SPREE, circa 1982. Since the designers of the 8 bit games were all foreign devils who spoke little English, it's easy to see how they confused "sexy" with "sexist".

The Hovergirl game was very realistic for its time (and certainly less objectionable than its rightfully banned counterpart “Negro Hoverboy’s Looting Spree”), but it sold less than three hundred copies around North America in its original release…unlike the HOVERBOY 8-bit EXCITE-O-VISION  game, HOVERBOY VS. THE BRICK WALLS, which sold twice that number.

Level 12 of the almost completely unpopular HOVERBOY Vs. BRICK WALLS. This layer featured bricks AND fiberglass insulation

After months of lackluster sales, the SOFTIE GAMES people attempted a clever marketing idea that was astoundingly unsuccessful, advertising that every copy of the game sold was guaranteed “MINT IN BOX”….which meant that each game came with a mint in each box.    Fortunately for all concerned, only three copies were ever sold in this condition, as the “mints” themselves were made of inorganic packing material, otherwise retailers would have had to have obtained a food vendors license.    Of the three “mints” sold to an unsuspecting public, only one was swallowed, and that was easily removed by hours of painful surgery.

A rare, unsold copy of HOVERBOY vs. the BRICK WALLS, still "mint in box". Sometimes an idea is simply too f***ing stupid to work. Even with gamers.

For slightly more information about Softie Games, the EXCITE-O-VISION format and Hoverboy video games, go HERE.

And be sure to head over HERE to join the Hoverboy Facebook page, and earn that chance to win an ORIGINAL piece of Hoverboy artwork, painstakingly recreated by TY TEMPLETON, co-curator of the HOVERBOY ONLINE MUSEUM.  It’s worth it, as it costs nothing, is great fun, and something you won’t be embarrassed by later in life, when you hang the artwork proudly in a bathroom or work shed.

TY THE GUY, Hoverboy Fan Club Member #0008

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Hoverboy |

HoverboyAway on Twitter

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Ty Templeton |

Ty Templeton on Twitter

It’s HOVERBOY week! And no one can stop me!

We’re promoting Hoverboy awareness all week at Art Land, running a contest and informing the world of the greatness that was the Battlin’ Bucket, in anticipation of the release of the HOVERBOY RADIO SERIES we just found a complete set of, and yes, this is an unforgivable run-on sentence, what are you going to do about it, punk?

May-1918 • Hoverboy co-creator Charles Nutt’s father, Peter Nutt, is horribly wounded during the Battle Of Cantigny, the first major US offensive of the

Pvt. Peter Nutt, pictured before the battle. Trousers not shown.

First World War.  The elder Nutt had tried to stay out of the war; claiming heart attacks, blindness, medical cowardice, “secret negroism” and leprosy, none of which earned him the deferment he desired.   Peter spent the fall of 1917,  training with the 28th Infantry of America’s 1st Army Division, and staining a record one hundred and eleven pairs of government issued trousers with what officials described as “terror”.  In battle, Private 1st Class Nutt frequently could be found  with a bucket on his head, (over his helmet and gas mask), because, according to his diaries,  “…ya can’t be too careful, right?”.  And on the fateful day of May 27th, that’s how Private Nutt went over the top, charging towards the Hun blindly, and “screaming like a tiny Chinese woman” (also according to his diary).  When he was hit simultaneously by two artillery shells, it blew off both legs, both arms and almost all of his internal organs, leaving only his head, heart, lungs and genitalia unharmed.  This event was the source of the famous expression “a real bucket case” used in army hospitals to this day.  For years after the war, Nutt toured the Midwest Freak Circuit as “the Amazing Head”, where he met a young Cynthia Göring, and fell in love.  That marriage produced three children, including Charles and his twin sisters, Emily and Emily.

The Starks meet for the first time while the Circus tours Missouri. Cynthia is to the left. Peter is wearing his "performin' suit".

In 1929, the family opened the Nutt Hardware Store in North Bend Missouri, where a young Bob Stark was sent to purchase “something to hold some water” and the rest is history.

The moment of Nutt's debilitating injury was captured in the famous image by photographer Dan Williams, entitled "Our Honored Exploded".

1964 • First (and last) issue of HOVERBOY’S FOOD FUN MAGAZINE hits newsstands.  For collectors who own this hard to find item, answer to page seven’s “Vegetable Tumble” is RUTABAGA.

Caution: Do NOT attempt any of the recipes contained within.

1990 • Hoverboy Anime show “Lucky Hovering Float Boy American” airs in Japan.  Though partly financed by the Nutt estate, the show is never brought to US airwaves because the staccato animation style used during fight scenes caused seizures in forty-seven thousand Japanese children.  Though none of the children died, over nine thousand parents were killed trying to restrain them.

Sailor Hover-Girlaru. The only image from the series allowed to be shown in the USA by law.

Tune in tomorrow for a special HOVERBOY TOYS report.

And don’t forget:  THE HOVERBOY CONTEST!  Win an original piece of Hoverboy artwork by Ty Templeton just by joining the Hoverboy Facebook page, and naming your favorite villain from Vigilance Comics’ decades long history of publishing.  A winner (drawn by lottery by Hoverboy actress Sarah Samms) will receive an ASTOUNDINGLY accurate reproduction of the winning cover, with such line-by-line fidelity that you’d swear it was the original cover!  Be the envy of your friends.  Push around people smaller than you, and berate those with foreign accents, just like a real life citizen of Arizona!  Remember, few will enter, even fewer will win.  Void where prohibited.  Your mileage may vary.

GO here

for the Hoverboy Facebook Fan Page.  And HERE for the Hoverboy home site.

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SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS

Whoops!  Dinner at the folks last night, so I slept in this morning, and the Saturday Morning Toons are an hour late.  But they’re here now, you excited and breathless people!  Calm the #$()* down!!

When last we left Stavros Stavropolis and Lana Little, Space Ranchers and devoted Love-Muffins, they had escaped from Lord Vodon’s Astro-Dungeon…RIGHT INTO THE VACUUM OF OUTER SPACE!!  Damned tough bit of bad luck, no?  So we join them, mere seconds away from the after-life…

And now, a BUNNY FUNNY with a special significance.  I drew this as a gift for my wife, many years ago, when we first met, and fell in love ourselves.  It’s hanging in her work studio, but I felt since the subject was LOVE today, I could share it with the world.  Awww….(I bet I get some action from the wife later today because of this!)

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That’s it for the Saturday Webtoons, but before I leave, I’m going to remind you of our SPIFFY contest around here.  Share your HOVERBOY memories and win a piece of ORIGINAL ART by Ty the Guy (that’s ME!).

There doesn't seem to be a villain on this cover, unless you count the TACO BELL dog...

Send us a description of your favorite Hoverboy villain from the THOUSANDS of issues of Vigilance Comics published over the last 75 years, and we’ll be picking ONE lucky entry by lottery –and the winner receives a PAINSTAKING RECREATION of the original cover, made with such precision by me, that you’ll SWEAR the image is the original art.  I mean it will REALLY look like the original art.  Am I being subtle enough about who draws these things?!?

Kerchack the gorilla is not allowed, as he was clearly stolen from the Edgar Rice Burroughs people.

But FIRST ya gotta join the Hoverboy Fan page on Facebook.  That’s easy to do if you have a computer and no sense of your own personal privacy, apparently, as Facebook has become evil in the last few weeks.  But the contest is fun, and you might win some original art, you grubby heathens, so why not give it a try?!?  Details for the contest can be found HERE, and of course, the Hoverboy website, as always is found HERE.

And, to be fair, the Native Americans in this issue were the victims of the story.

Ain’t the inter-tubes fun?

TY THE GUY OUT!

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Hoverboy Friday! On a FRIDAY!

It’s been a couple of weeks since Hoverboy Friday came near a Friday, and this is a good one, Bucket Brethren and Sistren.

The big news is that a retired animator/producer for Vigilance Pictures by the name of Santos McMillan has contacted me with a mountain of new Hoverboy video material to put on the Hoverboy website.  This includes a full episode from the HOVERBOY TO THE MOON series from 1961, part of an episode from the never aired Heroteam series from 1976, and a WHOLE SEASON’S worth of episodes from Hoverboy’s 80s epic kid’s series: GOD FEARING PUPPET TOWN!   I’ll try to get the videos up on youtube later this week, and link to them, but for now I can show off some of the stills and jpgs he sent along with the package.

First up, this is one of the few surviving style sheets from the aborted 70s show “HEROTEAM”, only featuring Hoverboy this time.  Santos had promised me the style sheets for SLAPMAN, DANNY BANNON: THE PANTSLESS DETECTIVEGOLDEN PLUMB and FEMININJA….he says he can’t find them yet, but not to give up hope.

For the life of me, I don’t know what M.R.M. means in the info box.  Any animators out there who can fill me in?

Hero Team, as Hoverboy fans should recall, was the series intended for CBS’s SATURDAY FUN ZONE in 1976, but was canceled when a highly inebriated Bob Stark threw up a meal of chili and vodka all over the desk of CBS producer Yasha Ezrin.  “I was willing to work with Stark,” Ezrin recalled in a VARIETY interview of that year, “But his constant drunkeness caused friction at meetings.  He would shout ‘NIXON WAS A SAINT!’ at odd times, or beg my daughter to remove her top.  That sort of thing.  It wasn’t a problem for me, really, but my custodial staff refused to clean up after him, and they went on strike.  I have limits to what I’ll put with in this business we call show, but a desk covered in chili and vodka that went uncleaned for eight days was the end of my rope.  It’s too bad, too, as hundreds of talented people had put in months of work to make it happen.”

Forgive the quality, this is a screen grab from an old video tape.

I’ve tried to clean up these images from the video I was sent, but don’t really work with video filters as much as I should, so I’m flying blind.

These are screen grabs from HOVERBOY TO THE MOON, the six episode cartoon series produced in 1961 in the SYNCRO-VOX technique first popularized by CLUTCH CARGO.  Basically, that meant that instead of animated lips, actors would supply the lip movement that went with the dialog.  There were meant to be more than the six episodes, but CAMBRIA PRODUCTIONS (the owners of Clutch Cargo) sued Vigilance for using their technique.

These are supposed to be my lips? They don't look right!

Now, obviously, you can’t own a technique of making cartoons, but Nolan Bridge, producer at Vigilance at the time, didn’t know that, and took his series off the air, rather than face yet another lawsuit.  (Vigilance was still paying off the damages on 18 wrongful death claims from the infamous “Day the Cartoonists Died” incident wherein weaponized anthrax toxins were accidentally mixed with the printing ink on paychecks sent out to Vigilance cartooning staff the year before. )

The syncro-vox idea was originally suggested because Hoverboy had no lips, and everyone figured it was a no brainer to animate him.  But the scripts for the first six episodes (which centered around supplying blankets covered in weaponized anthrax toxin to the moon men to get them off “AMERICA’S PLANET’) featured so many lines for the  moon men, and of course, Jimmy and Gleep the Monkey, that the cost cutting measure didn’t work, and folding when the lawsuit showed up was probably more of a blessing than a problem.

Sure, HE has no lips, but there are fifty-eight distinct characters in the story who do.

I don’t have any screengrabs of GOD FEARING PUPPET TOWN beyond this often seen promotional still, but it’s only a matter of me learning how to upload and embed this stuff before you’ll be watching the whole season.

Hey boys and girls.  Sesame Street is for COMMIES!  Pass it on.

Hey boys and girls. Sesame Street is filled with Commies. Pass it on.

God Fearing Puppet Town was a short-lived spin off of Sesame Street that aired only in Arizona and Utah during the early eighties.  The series was created as a response to what the producers called “an emphasis on colored people and socialist values” on Sesame Street, that simply didn’t sit well with viewers in Arizona and Utah.   The 22 fifteen minute episodes followed Hoverboy as he tried to understand bible verses and the prophecies of revelations, and how it all related to modern life in Utah.  Though it was a big hit for the year it was on the air, it was finally removed by the FCC who cited “clear elements of race baiting, religious intolerance, and puppet nudity” in almost all the episodes.  The story of Sodom and Gomorrah was returned to in almost every episode, and constantly referred to as “Hoverboy’s favorite part of the bible.”

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HOVERBOY COMIC STRIPS

For those who have been following the Hoverboy reprints of NAZI ROBOTS OF FUTURE PAST, here are the latest episodes…

That’s it for today.  Scroll down for the KICK ASS CREATORS article all you kids are looking for.  And don’t forget:  Tomorrow is free webcomics, featuring the THIRD chapter of the ever-exciting LAST ROUNDUP ON THE SINISTER SPACECRAFT OF FORBIDDEN LOVE!

Ty the Guy

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PS:  I almost forgot.  The best issue of Bongo’s SIMPSONS comics to hit the stands in nearly four weeks is finally out!  And as a special bonus, there’s a possible chance of winning eleven million dollars if you buy the issue and find a special lottery ticket inside.

How can one comic be so funny?

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The Ten Greatest All-Nude Fight Scenes in Comics

The all-nude fight scene has been a staple of literature since Eve asked Adam to bite into the fruit of knowledge and Adam said, “Make me.”

This can't be legal. And it better not be in a museum somewhere.

And why not?  We like nudity, AND we like fighting.

Back in the really old days, when the Youtube was called “actual Roman gladiators”, naked fighting was literally the “bread” in “bread and circuses“.  The circus part involved lions, but that’s another story.  What matters is that a snarling knock-down, drag-out is better when the delicate goodies are in play, and never more so, then when super-powers are involved.

And so, to continue my scholarly series about the prurient world of comic book decadence (following the highly educational “LOIS LANE: BONDAGE QUEEN” and “Comic Book Easter Zombie Parade” posts), and bring to you…

THE TOP TEN NAKED SUPER-HERO FIGHTS IN COMICS.

But before the festival of naughty bits, three quick ground rules:

RULE #1:
No Adult Comics. No taking the piss out of WARRIOR NUN, DANGER GIRL, VAMPIRELLA, or

Russ Heath's forgotten masterpiece.

ANYTHING HOWARD CHAYKIN HAS WRITTEN as that’s low hanging fruit, and I don’t pick, grab, fondle or tug at so easy a target.    Sadly, it means no COWGIRLS AT WAR, but we’re sticking to mainstream super-heroes—and do I mean STICKING!

RULE #2:
Only one nudie shot per customer.  WOLVERINE, for example, can pop it out of his pants as often as he pops them out of his knuckles… if we don’t impose the limit, the whole list becomes about Logan’s dangly-bits.

RULE #3:
The appearance of nudity isn’t good enough.  The character must have actual genitalia.  Sorry Howard the Duck and Silver Surfer.

As sexy as this super-hot cover seems to be, I consider it cheating if there’s no possibility of balls.

And now, without further ado, or further use of the phrase “dangly-bits”…

#10
AVENGERS ILLUMINATI #1

As a millionaire playa, Tony Stark was always willing to slip out of the Armani suit for the hunnies, and as a drunken gutter dweller, he was willing to step out of the Iron Man suit and give it to his pal Rhodey.  The suit, I mean.   Clearly Tony is very willing to drop trou, and that’s why he’s so calm, cool and TEACHING SCHOOL in this nude-fight classic.  With nothing but his “little Iron Man” to help him, and a few well remembered “training sessions” with Steve Rogers, Tony Stark smoothly kicks butt while his own is dancing in the breeze.

This is why they call him "Shell-Head".

IN TONY’S FAVOR:  Skrulls are not human, so it’s like being naked in front of your cat.  The things I do naked in front of my cats would get me arrested if I was doing them in front of say, the neighbors, tied up in my shower–

#9
The Watchmen.  Issue 12

Flee, enemies of democracy! The American Superman can stay clothed for only SO LONG...

The Watchmen is the greatest super-hero comic book of all time so it has to be on all lists that include the words “greatest” and “super-hero”.  Lucky for us, the naked fight scene between Rorschach and Doc Manhattan in Issue 12 is a keeper!  And it follows memorable  naked quantum physics scenes and naked menage a doppelganger scenes that changed my dating ambitions forever.

The socio-political implications of Alan Moore’s narrative and the intricate mechanism of this novel have been discussed endlessly by greater critics than I, so I’ll just leave you with two thoughts:

1)  It’s bad enough being killed by a friend, but killed by one waving his little blue weenie at you is insulting.
2)   Rorschach said was naked without his mask on, so he’s joining Doctor Manhattan’s free spirit–dying with his nose and lips exposed.

No matter what else, this is a dick move. Oh, and I've ruined the ending of the novel for you. Which is a dick move on my part.

#8
HOVERBOY #91
Hoverboy vs. Doc Natural.

With all the tags that say "nude Super-hero" this cover is going to get a lot of web hits.

If ever there was a reason to avoid calling him “The Bucket Headed Super-Hero” this issue is it.  After being hit with “fiber melting herbs” by the hippie super-villain Doc Natural, Hoverboy is forced to fight crime in the nude.  He learns to avoid shame by reading the first part of Genesis over and over, and eventually smacking anyone in the face who looks at him “down there”.

#7
TARZAN VS. TUBLAT the GORILLA

If you’re into the twin aesthetics of decorative baroque, and boy’s pink bums, you can’t do better than Burne Hogarth’s TARZAN  graphic novel, published in 1972 by Watson-Guptill.

I can't explain this, and I won't even try.

Freed of the comics code, Tarzan is naked for the first hundred pages…and just so you’d know where Burne’s bread was buttered, we are shown nothing but Greystokes curiously un-tanned buttocks for those hundred pages– the Jungle Lord’s crown jewels were hidden in shadows, or behind vines or strategically placed gorillas the whole time.  But, oh those glistening backside orbs were in full display–page after page—bulbously leaping from tree to tree in a cascade of male glute flesh rarely seen outside a clergyman’s rectory.

There really is a lot of this, all through the book.

And when Tublat (Tarzan’s gorilla father) starts messing with Kala (Tarzan’s gorilla mother), we’re treated to the second bloodiest naked super-hero fight scene on the list.

Um...could you check out what's happening in panel one?

EXTRA NAKED POINTS:  Everyone in this scene is stripped to the gonzos, INCLUDING TARZAN’S MOM!  I dare you to fight someone while your mom is watching nude.

#6
LEGEND OF AQUAMAN SPECIAL

Bark like a sea lion, boy! I said BARK!

If you didn’t want to see an “in the buff” teen-Aquaman fighting a grown man in rubber pants, then why have you read this far?  Seriously.  Some self examination is in order.

Don't sass me, nude boy. I'll teach you who wears the rubber pants around here!

Okay, I get that Aquaman’s origin story was kinda like “Tarzan of the Fish”, and if his dolphin pals weren’t ashamed of their blow holes, why should he be?  But this scene  goes that extra special mile for its entertainment dollar.  It involves, rubber pants, choking, punching, animal noises and a young lad tied starkers and spread in a chair.  That’s at least three-fifty downtown, but the comic retailed for two dollars, quite a bang for your buck in 1989.  You always wondered why Aquaman has such a devoted following–  it’s not just because he can breathe underwater.

How did THIS scene end up in a DC comic?!?

#5
MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS #77

Pants? I know I brought pants...

I wasn’t kidding about how often Logan goes sans pants. They even have a special term to alert the students at the X-Mansion when Wolverine is “sunnin’ the package”: It’s called “mid-afternoon”.

But of all the nudie Wolverine fights, this is the yardstick against which all others are measured.  And if you’re measuring with a yardstick, you’re already impressing me.

The zenith of Logan’s multi-issue

Graaah! Graah! Snarrlll! Graaahhh!

birthday suit wood romp comes when he fights the equally unclothed and competitively hirsute wolves in MCP: WEAPON X #77, and bathes in their mighty blood when it’s all done.  The most badass moment in comics is suitably bare assed and  has been referenced again and again.

Snarrll....grrrrr.....grrrrr....I swear to GOD I had pants....

#4
Ultimates #9

Big deal, you gotta take a PILL to be called "Giant Man".

Millar and Hitch’s Ultimates run was a leader in the naked fight scene genre, with an average of one naked fight per 3.7 issues.  The Cap/Naked Giant Man fight from #9 is my favorite, simply because it  involves a giant guy waggling the wand six stories above your head.

One of the most important aspects of a man to man fight is the ability to look your opponent in the eye and say belittling things to him.  But when you have to crane your neck just to glimpse your opponent’s eyes behind his BUICK-SIZED REPRODUCTIVE SAUSAGE, it’s a trifle intimidating!

And Cap hands Hank the beat down that he had coming all the same.  THAT’S why you salute the man with the shield.

Hank goes DOWN! Hank goes DOWN! Into the big, phallic tube-y things!

#3
Batman #357.

WTF? This is in a published comic? At least Bruce is saying "NO".

This can’t be a co-incidence.  There’s no way that the editor was  unaware that the first two words in this naked fight scene are “swish” and “Dick..?”–  WHICH WERE THE TITLES OF MY FIRST TWO HOMO-EROTIC HAIKU!!  Someone had to be spying on me.

And the second page of this memorable sequence begins with another unfortunately worded balloon that I’m not going to type up, in case I enjoy it more than I should.  Just read it yourself…out loud if the elderly are present.

This had to be a prank. This was never published...

And it all ends with a spread eagle boy wonder, and naked Bruce looking down on him, again saying “Dick…?”.  Don’t take my word for it.  Follow Bruce’s stare….Go check, I’ll wait.

It was as though the editorial team at DC had decided to give into the fan mail they’d been getting from “that anti-Wertham” crowd, and just let them have one issue to call their own.

I think the story had something to do with mind control, and Hugo Strange, and something like that.  Did anyone read the other eighteen pages in this issue when people were wearing clothes?  My copy won’t open.

#2
ULTIMATE HULK ANNUAL #1

Okay. He's naked, and unashamed. Got it?

This is special in so many ways.  First off, the Ultimate Hulk was a walking naked fight scene from the word go.  That was is raison d’etre, his meaning in life, his chewy center.  He doesn’t care if he defeats the Leader, or The Abomination…he just wants to meet a special someone and settle down, and the nudity was his version of Hulk Sized Foreplay.

This ANNUAL is nothing more than a big, long, extended, full length, and blood engorged naked fight scene that ends in a punch to the cojones that was visible from space.  And the subject

Ohh. Strike one against the Mighty Nards of the Hulk. The "Nulks".

matter of the fight?  Some chick named Zarda gets hired by Captain America to make the Hulk wear pants.  She attacks his Hulklings until he agrees, and then they go to a motel and snuggle like very bad bunnies who are not married to each other, and might not even be considering a formal engagement.   No wonder comics are considered literature nowadays.

And one more 'nad cruncher, in case you're missing the subtlety of the story.

#1
BATMAN CONFIDENTIAL #18

This is why we all evolved to have eyes.

When the end comes, and the world is crumbling around me due to nuclear devastation or social upheaval, this is the comic I take with me to the escape shelter.  Full Respect to Fabian Nicieza and Kevin Maguire for making this objet d’art for us to enjoy.

Okay. That's a nice drawing.

The story has something to do with Catwoman stealing something, and running into an all-nude fetish club to escape Batgirl chasing her…and Batgirl follows her in and stuff happens.  Good god, I’m heterosexual, how am I supposed to remember the plot?

You’ll notice how sparse this list has been for naked super-HEROINE fights…up until now.  Oh, sure, She-Hulk and Black Cat do sometimes get all jiggy with their bid’ness, but they don’t seem to be PUNCHING anyone when they do it.  And Danger Girl and Codename:  Knockout don’t count if that’s ALL they do.  But THIS…?   This is naked fighting, folks, not naked prancing.  You want naked prancing, visit your congressman.

Honestly, it just goes on like this for pages and pages...

There are other naked fight scenes in comics.  I seem to remember Magneto fighting for his life in the shower.  And let’s never forget Bruce Banner’s narrow escape from Jim Shooter’s Traveling Shower Rape Stereotype Duo from that Rampaging Hulk in the Eighties…Ah, those memories I can’t seem to purge.

If you’ve got a naked fight scene you’d like to see featured in this column, please drop us a line.   We’re always willing to look at naked people smacking at each other, whether they’re flying through the air or not.

That’s it for today.  A long one, but a good one.  (That’s what she said!)

I’ll see everyone back here tomorrow for some all new BUN TOONS!  A new installment of LAST ROUNDUP ON THE SINISTER SPACECRAFT OF FORBIDDEN LOVE, and MORE!

Ty the Guy


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HOVERBOY FANDOM ACTION ALERT!! NOT ON A FRIDAY!

Yeah, it's not Friday. You gonna get all tough about it now?

This was passed along to ART LAND from RICK GREEN, co-curator of the Hoverboy museum, along with myself and Marcus Moore.  It seemed important enough to the world of Hoverboy fandom to pass along to you.

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"Please help me, internet people. It looks like this."

Ty,

I’m forwarding this from a friend of a friend of an acquaintance of an enemy.  Can you publish it on your website?
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Dear Hoverboy team,

I have a question about a Hoverboy comic book that belonged to my brother.  He is dead after complications during surgery.  It was real ironic, because he went into the hospital for a penis enlargement to make his wife happy, and since he died on the operating table she’s been really happy and getting a lot of action from my brother’s friends.
I guess the lesson is, stay in America and have the surgery done by a certified Doctor.  When you figure what he spent on airfare to Guatemala it wasn’t much of a savings.
Anyway, although my brother didn’t leave a will, I’m sure he would have wanted me to have his Hoverboy collection.  Which is good, cause I DO have it.  There are comics and a lot of action figures and some model kits.

My late brother took real good care of the comics, preserving them in plastic bags.  Only, having been to my first comic book convention last month I

"This is more of a close up, so you can see it better. It looks like this."

realized the bags are supposed to be clear plastic.  My brother died never knowing he had it all wrong, which is probably a mercy.  Some of his comics, or rather, my comics, are in mint condition.  Some are not.  Apparently rats can chew through plastic.  (I hope they can’t chew through aluminum or that fancy coffin we got for my brother was a waste.)

I’m trying to reassemble the most damaged comics so I can sell it on E-bay as a kind of tribute to my brother.  But here’s the thing, I have this scrap of comic and I can’t figure out which issue it is from.  Even the guys at the comic convention couldn’t figure it out.  Can you help?  (This is actually a photocopy, blown up a bit.  The original is back in it’s plastic bag in a rat proof chest of drawers.)
Thanks.
Josh Hervey

"This is as close as I can get it. It's already going fuzzy. But it looks like this."

PS:  It’s not this cover below.  I thought it was, because the sky is blue behind his head, but then I realized two things.  1)  You can see Hoverboy’s eyes in this cover, and 2)  My copy of the cover is the one I scanned, and you can see the head is still there.  So it’s not this one.  But I don’t know which one it is.

"It's not this one. I don't think it is. "

———————————————————————-
Okay, gang.  Can we  help a fellow Hoverophile out of a jam?  Does ANYONE recognize the cover image Josh has got that bit of?  If you know, send us an email or drop us a comment.  We’d like to help this poor sap, and we’ve done our part.  Now it’s up to YOU.
And did you notice the Big Chested Hovergirl toy from 1966  he had in the background?  And I think a TRAMPLER Mint in Box!  Lucky Bastard to have his brother die on him like that.  My brother doesn’t have any Hoverboy toys, so I have no reason to wish him dead.  But boy, if he did…
Ty the Guy
Oh, and don’t foret to go HERE, which is HOVERBOY.COM the home of the Battlin’ Bucket online, where you can read webcomics, watch cartoons, download comics and so much more!!  Art Land website assumes no responsibility if you are injured while at the Hoverboy Museum, and remember, it is for entertainment purposes only, no vendors allowed.  Void where prohibited.  Please keep an eye on a swim buddy and keep your hands inside the cabin at all times.  Thank you.

Ty the Guy

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Extremely Unseen Marvel Punisher, more Slightly Seen DC and HOVERBOY FRIDAY! plus the big announcement! AND Nepotism Thursday. How long is this $)(*#$)(*##!! Title?!?

As promised, we look at some very unseen Marvel art from the same period.  The image above is from a very fun project I did with my pal SAM AGRO in the 90s.  The comic was “THE PUMMELER“, a parody of one of Marvel’s more popular characters, for a company called PARODY PRESS (best known for Adolescent Hamsters…) but Sam had a ball writing up a tremendous trio of very funny “Mad” style stories.  Worth finding in the back issues, if you can.  The cover to the left was by Sam Keith, who pitched in to help Agro get an audience.   If you follow the Pummeler link above, you’ll see the interior pages!  Sam is a well known storyboard artist who has helped the world be sickened and thrilled by the HUGELY successful SAW series of movies — been part of an academy award winning art team for FLY AWAY HOME–and he boarded tons of episodes of EWOKS and DROIDS in his day.  All that PLUS a loverly run writing great scripts for DC’s Looney Tunes comic book for years.  Is the name LEGEND appropriate?  Considering he’s one of the instructors at the highly esteemed TORONTO CARTOONIST WORKSHOP that I instruct at, I’ll have to say “yes”, LEGEND is the word.) Man, can I plug the pals and co-workers, or WHAT?!?

Watch this segue.   We’re staying with the silly images of the Punisher theme, and moving over to another living legend, Dana Moreshead.  Who is clearly not the name on the card above.  How confused am I?

There, that’s Dana.  And his odd looking pet, the name escapes me, and I don’t want to say Skipper when it was Sparky, or Spanky or Elliot Spitzer, but it was something like that.  I drew that portrait of Dana at least a decade ago, but I’m sure at least ONE of those furry creatures is still cute.  Dana was the Marvel guy who gave me all these wonderfully odd gigs that I’ve been posting for the last two weeks, and he deserves his humble thank you on this blog for the fun, fun art jobs he tossed me atop of.  And hopefully the smile or two he’s bringing the eleven readers of this post as I dig through the original art pile over in the corner and scan baby scan.

So what was that Punisher toy with the human head on it?  And who’s this poor soul with the dragon crapping on his hair?  These were a series of cards that were created for the Marvel staff one summer for convention season.  That way, when they met people, they had a card with some ‘zaz and zing and pep!  And their image on it, so names and faces could match up for business deals, etc.  A good idea, actually.  The gag was to make everyone into their own version of a Marvel Hero.  I did at least four of them (that I’ve found so far).  The funny thing, most of these staffers are NOT a Marvel Character, but a toy version of one, or standing near one.  I’m not sure that conveyed the joke.

I still have tons more fun stuff from the Dana era of Special Projects.  He is still one of my favorite people, even if he no longer gets me work.

Another installment of the AOL Flood Safety messages from 2006.  Sketch and final art.  The only time I ever drew Supergirl for the animated universe, unless you count the toy designs.  Aquaman I’ve drawn lots and lots, he’s featured in the Brave and Bold issue I drew in 2009, but has yet to come out.

But here’s Aquaman warning a man about having adequate storm drains, and not living under a f***ing wall of mud.  That’s so dumb he really deserves to die.

Hoverboy.com is back up and running!  Marcus Moore, fellow curator, and webmaster of the site, was found,  alive and well, after months lost in the barrens with his experimental jet co-pilot, Jarred.    As of this posting, the fate of his experimental jet c0-pilot, Jarred,  has not been revealed, though it can be noted that that Moore seems to have put on weight during his ordeal.  “Plenty of possum in those woods.” is the only response a visibly shaken Moore has given to reporters when asked about his friend, experimental jet co-pilot, Jarred.  We wish he and his family good luck in the future, and keep on looking for that poor kid.

The good news is that Hoverboy.com is once again operational, with a NEW installment of the weekly comic strip reprints.  I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve been sitting on the edge of my seat, waiting for the poor lad to hover away from those clouds, these last few months.  Hovermaniacs the world around, breathe out a sigh of relief.  Go check out the installments we’ve found so far, for this excellent example of heroism and manhood of the golden age!

And now for the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.  (yeah, like you’re still reading after so long and drawn out a post today…).  Starting NEXT weekend, and every weekend after that, I’ll be posting Ty Templeton Funnies!  Never before seen  material, created to be seen in web form.  Wait…does that make this blog a…

WEBCOMIC?!?!?    Tune in NEXT WEEKEND and see….

Ty the Guy.

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More March Marvel Madness. Hoverboy Friday Below! (scroll down!)

I promised myself I was going to post my “unseen Marvel” work this week, but I’ve started to realize that I have a LOT of unseen Marvel, and there’s no way to get through it all without just dumping it on the site like a fish bucket spilled onto a baby’s change table.    I still have pajamas designs, t-shirts, Christmas party invitations, video and DVD covers, Bullpen portrait cards, TV guide ads, toys and an avalanche of this mess to get through.  But digging through it all is kind of fun, so here’s more of the rock slide. I promise, I’ll stop before Monday.  Marvel Madness comes but once a year, and it’s best not to push your luck.

Up above is the rarest of all my Marvel work…though strictly speaking, I did it for the THE HERO INITIATIVE.  It’s a one-off.  Only one comic like this as the cover was drawn on the comic with pen and watercolour dyes and auctioned off (for a few thousand dollars, if I recall, which shocked me senseless!) to raise money for our cartooning brethren and sistren who need a hand.  I’ve never met the guy who dropped the couple of grand on this, but bless his generous heart.

Here’s a couple more of the X-Men video boxes.  The Magneto cover was featured in adverts that appeared on the back of national magazines, and even the back of some DC comics!  The one with Bishop and Wolverine used Marvel artist (of the New Warriors at  the time),  RICHARD PACE as a model for Bishop’s face.  It still looks like him, even though Richard has long since had his facial tattoo removed, and gotten that haircut properly attended to.

This spoof version of Amazing Fantasy #15 was done for for Wizard Magazine, covering the launch of the Spider-Man animated series, SPIDER-MAN UNLIMITED, which was the most bizarre ripoff of Batman Beyond and lasted only one horrendous season.  According to that show, to improve on Spider-Man, you send him to counter-Earth, have him fight the High Evolutionary and the armor plated Ani-Men, and write MJ out of the series.   This art was a supposed to be for a Wizard cover alt (back when Wizard did two covers for every issue) but since I’ve never seen a printed copy, I’m not sure they ran it.  I tossed Kirby’s name in there, just as a tip of the hat.

And now, a couple of the many collector’s cards I’ve done over the years for Upper Deck.  There’s probably twenty or thirty of these all told and there’s not enough room to come near putting them all up.  But I think I might force you guys to sit through about six of ’em in total.  I like the inking on the Radioactive Man card to the left, and I like the big goofy fun of the H.E.R.B.I.E. card below.  Considering that H.E.R.B.I.E. represents the last Fantastic Four character that Lee and Kirby created together (for an animated series, rather than a comic, replacing the already licensed-to-someone-else Human Torch to make a foursome), I couldn’t help but enjoy working on his card.

I’ll leave this post with more of that mysterious X-Men comic book giveaway art that I worked on sixteen years ago, that I can’t remember where it got used but it might have been for Pizza Hut.   Dana Morsehead, (former head of the department at Marvel for which most of this stuff was done) thinks it might have been for a PITCH to land an account, rather than an account itself.  What?  Ah, all that Don Draper stuff is above my pay grade.  I was just happy to have a few months drawing up them X-People, and working with the lovely and talented Mr. Morsehead.

Keep scrolling down for the feature Hoverboy Fridays!.  We now return you to it, as regularly scheduled.

Ty the Guy

DIGITAL HOVERBOY FRIDAY

Here we go again, fellow Float Fans!  It’s that day of the week, and time for the greatest bucket wearing hero of the twentieth century (and 2nd greatest bucket wearing hero of all time!) HOVERBOY!   This week:  Hoverboy goes DIGITAL!

We start with the Hoverboy: FLOATING FIGHTER video game of 1982, manufactured in the EXCITE-O-VISION format from Softie Games.  This unique format promised to be the first home-system 3-d graphics on the market, with an effect that was described by the designers as “graphics floating in front of your very eyes”.  Naturally with a slogan like that, they set their sites on the leading floating character in the super-hero market to launch their fledgling game company.

When Superman turned down Softie Games, they tried to get the license for Captain Marvel, and then Hawkman, followed by Dr. Fate, Ghost Woman, Sky-Man: The Helium Filled Detective, Thor, Casper the Friendly Ghost, The Blimp (from the Inferior Five), The Specter, Dr. Strange, Dr. Druid, Flight Boy, and a character I’ve never heard of elsewhere called “FLOATY: Clown Chimp of the Stratosphere”.

Eventually Softie settled on Hoverboy, and the rest is long forgotten history.

The first impediment to success was the design of the basic game.  Though the three-dimensional graphics of the EXCITE-O-VISION format were quite spectacular, the simple geometric figures and low-pixel backgrounds made the game seem dreadfully old fashioned for the sophisticated gamers of the eighties.   To top it all off, HOVERBOY: FLOATING FIGHTER was originally test marketed only in  the poorer counties of Louisiana and Georgia, a population made up mostly of low income African-American families, who had little or no awareness of Hoverboy, or indeed computer games for the home at that time.

The test-market scores for the game were exceedingly low, and the two phrases most often spontaneously given in written reviews were “Can I get my money now?” and “What the hell?  Who would do this for FUN?”

HOVERBOY: FLOATING FIGHTER was never released, and the money spent in developing it was lost.  Softie Games president, Lionel Jackson, was devastated by the adventure and swore off the game industry forever to his family and friends, mere moments before he was hit by a bus.

Another tragic loss, blamed on the HOVERBOY curse, by those too uneducated to know better.  Blamed on a drunken bus driver named Clement McManus, by the coroner for the city of San Fransisco, where the accident happened.

Next up:

Above is one of the more public tributes given to Hoverboy in recent years.  For fans of the movie “THE INCREDIBLES” there’s a moment near the beginning of the film, when Mr. Incredible heads up to his attic retreat, to wax nostalgic for his heroic past.   Eagle eyed Hoverboy fans like myself instantly noticed the clear nod to the Battlin’ Bucket on the top shelf to the right of the door.  Is that a HOVERBOY helmet up there?  It looks like the late sixties version, though it’s hard to say, considering how often the design changed from show to show, or even comic to comic.  At any rate, Incredibles Director, Brad Bird, is a well known Hoverboy fan, and has mentioned him in many interviews, so the familiar helmet isn’t all that unexpected.  Hoverboy references abound in Bird’s work, including The Simpsons, Iron Giant and Ratatouille (look for ‘em yourself, once you know they’re there, they’re easy to spot!)

As always, head on over to the nearly abandoned HOVERBOY MUSEUM for more about the history and future of this amazing and popular character from the world of Superheroes.

Coming up:  More Marvel March Madness as soon as I scan the Spidey Stuff.

Ty the Guy

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Hoverboy Fridays! AWAY!!!

As regular readers of this blog know, I’ve been showing off bits and pieces of my own Hoverboy collection for months now, trying to recall the days of glory and wonder that was the Battlin’ Bucket’s heyday.  (And let’s be honest about this:  I won the rights to the character in a poker game with the grandson of original co-creator Charles Nutt, and my efforts are selfish…I plan to make the Hoverboy movie someday, and want the character fresh in everyone’s minds before I do!)  But today, I have something to show you from my basement, AND something wonderful sent in from a fan in Europe, (where Hoverboy is vastly more popular than he is in North America).

My home collection includes about half of the two hundred and thirty-six published comic issues, but only about seventeen of the officially licensed toy figures, so I’m not as well stocked with the 3D Hoverboy collectibles as I’d like to be.  Still, I do have a few and the stuffed toy to the right was my first.  As old as it is, it’s still in excellent condition after more than thirty years in my possession.  To be fair, the toy is stuffed with wood chips and the plush daycron/rayon/einsteinium surface gives you a rash if it touches your skin, so it wasn’t played with much when I was younger, and my kids don’t care about it at all.   But it’s official, and it’s very old, so it’s a treasure.

Far less official is this “Inverse Hoverboy” custom figure I made when I was about twenty four years old.  It’s based on a REGULAR Hoverboy action figure, I simply repainted him and peeled off the H decal, and reattached it sideways for the familiar “I” of Inverse Hoverboy.  Of course, reattaching it, I made a mess, and outlined it in marker, which clearly shows.  There’s a thriving underground of unofficial Hoverboy toys, as so many of the officially released ones were used as evidence in civil cases (and a few criminal ones), making them very hard to find in perfect shape.  Or, in the case of the famous “Iroquois Cereal Choking Toys” of the fifties, it’s impossible to find one not covered in mucous and expectorate substances.   

But below is the toy considered the holy grail of Hoverboy collectors.  Known simply as the “HOVERBOY TIN TOY” , it was manufactured in Belgium and sold around Northern Europe JUST before the Nazi invasion put a stop to that for the duration. Hitler himself issued the order, claiming that Hoverboy’s likeness was a clear violation of the Nazi trademarked character UBERMENSCH, and there would be lawsuits involved if the Belgian manufacturer continued.  Less than a thousand were ever sold, and only eight are known to exist in any form.

The TOMART’S FIGURE GUIDE lists the value of this at well over a hundred dollars, but I’ve never seen one in as beautiful shape as this one is.  One wonders if the photo is retouched…yet I’m assured this is genuine.  I’ve offered the fan $128 dollars (CDN) for this item, but he’s refused (and he’d like to remain anonymous to avoid the flood of offers he’d get otherwise).  At least he was kind enough to send us this photo, where I can share it online so that you might gaze upon the toy that drove Hitler crazy and smile.  Thanks to Alain Mauricet of Brussels, let’s give him a hearty “HOVERBOY AWAY!” from the gang.

For more of this Bucket based madness, as always, you may visit the Hoverboy Museum.  Unfortunately, since Marcus Moore, curator of the museum,  has been listed as “officially missing” since his experimental jet went down on Baffin Island shortly after Christmas.  The museum hasn’t been updated in months, and Moore’s heirs are squabbling about who “owns” the site… a twin brother with an eyepatch was seen lurking about the estate in recent weeks, so there is still no real sense that things are settling down.  Still, there’s much to enjoy at the site until such time as we get it up and running again.   Keep Marcus in your prayers.

Ty the Guy

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