Wonder Bun Toons! YAY! YAY!

I am Bunny.  Hear me ROAR.

As promised last week…I’m back with more to say about something.

It’s really not fair.

Don’t think we didn’t notice Harley was the only good thing in Suicide Squad, and Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman was the only good thing in The Dark Knight Winds Down.

This is a conspiracy, to push male dominated super-hero movies aside in favour of these female friendly movies Hollywood makes every thirty years.

I, for one, am not putting up with it.

After two or three more trips to the theatre to see Wonder Woman a few more times, I’m boycotting the film until it comes out on Blue Ray.

Who’s with me?

Ty the Guy OUT!

Wonder Woman is one of my favourite characters to draw on sketch covers for conventions…here’s a couple of recent ones that turned out somewhat un-awful.

And while I’m comparing Harley, Catwoman, and Constantine’s movies to Wonder Woman’s…

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For last week’s Memorial Day Bun Toon (that might mention Amazon Princesses or not…) click here.

For the horrifically un-updated Bun Toons library,  click here.

Memorial Weekend Bun Toons! YAY!

A moment of reflection, please…

Next weekend, when Diana’s adventure opens, and we find out if hope triumphs over experience, I’ll be in Niagara Falls for a convention, but I’ll try to get out to the movies and report back as soon as I can.

I figure after thirty-eight bombs in a row, Warner Brothers is due for a good one.

Ty the Guy OUT!

I have a TEEENY bit of connection to this new Wonder Woman movie, I did a quick promotional film for the Cineplex chain, here in Canada.  Unfortunate movie goers have been trapped in a theatre with my face fifty feet high, for the last month or so…this is what they were forced to watch.

And now, your BONUS Bun Toon for the week.

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For last week’s comic book themed look at the Trump presidency, click the headline above.

 

Pearl Handled Bun Toons! YAY!

Draw, partner. That’s what I do all day…

Confession is good for the soul.  Every word of this is true, and it’s changed my family.

I take no joy in telling you that the live action Jonah Hex movie was the biggest pile of crap Hollywood has ever produced.  I wanted to like it.

But hey, I still got about a hundred or so Jonah Hex comics yet to read, and there’s the new monthly title STILL coming out from The New 52 DC, I’m still in Jonah Hex heaven until further notice.

Ty the Guy OUT!

My wife, who has a better memory than I do, reminded me that I had actually DRAWN Jonah Hex on the cover of a Justice League comic a number of years back.  Holy Hannah, she was right.  Now I’m sorry I sold the original artwork for this around the time the issue came out.  I’d like to own my own little contribution to the world of Jonah Hex…

But yuh cain’t spend yer days looking back on whut mighta been.  Leastways not with this here dead eye a’ mine.

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You can ALWAYS look back on last week’s Bun Toon by clicking here. What’s in a Name?

More looking back – this time into the Bun Toons Archive, for the reading pleasure of all you cowboys and saloon gals.

 

 

Santa Wars III: The Heroes Fight Back

NOTE:  This post isn’t exactly for the little ones.  You’ll see why as it goes along….

For the last two days I’ve shown you murderous Santas bent on destruction and monstrous Santas lurking with dark, inhuman intent.  But today, we’re  turning the tables on this plump symbol of the holiday season, and he’s the one taking some well placed pot-shots to his North Pole for a change – as Art Land presents…

SANTA WARS III:  THE HEROES FIGHT BACK (another Top TEn List!)

#10

What delightfully synchronicity that this issue of Top Ten is the first of a Top Ten list.  One wonders if Mr. Moore is secretly manipulating me with wizard magicks.  ( He can do that, as he’s a licensed warlock in Suffolk-on-Thames-shire, or wherever he’s from. ) What I’m trying to say is that Alan is foreign so he probably doesn’t celebrate Christmas and that’s why he’s the one to get the authorities involved in stopping the spread of Santa before it’s too late.  HANDS up, Kringle and spread ’em.

#9:

Again with the Brits and the Santa-hatred.  It’s one thing to be arrested by the delightful characters from the series Top Ten up above.  There’s an arrest, a booking, a bail hearing, and Santa’s out on bond.  But once Father Christmas goes up against the Judges of Mega-City One, there’s little chance he’ll ever see the grossly polluted light of day again.  Ten years in the iso-cubes and Santa will be chewing his legs off, just to feel something resembling emotion.  And to make it all so, so much worse, after he’s  served his time, after he’s crawled back from the hell that is the penal system of this dystopian future – Dredd will arrest him again – for littering if he has to.  These two covers are only but a sampling of the many times Dredd and Claus have faced each other over the barrel of a gun in their ongoing relationship.  Ho-Ho-Hold it right there, PUNK.

#8

We move up a notch in the actual fighting department.  Here, the Hulk tries to grind the bones of Santa to make his bread.  I love that the cover suggests that Santa is the most requested villain of all, but surprise…!  On the inside, that’s referring to someone else.  I know the Hulk is pretty strong, and normally you’d bet on him…but Hulk only gets stronger the MADDER he gets, and who can stay mad at Santa?  Even a Santa taking swipes at your head with a crowbar…

#7

This seems so innocuous and friendly at first glance:  Superman is innocently trying to push the big fat Kringle-man down a small chimney hole with the power of his god-like fist.  It’s almost adorable, right up until you consider that Superman can punch his way through mountains, or diamond mines, so in about two seconds that gently applied fist is going to explode out the back of Santa’s colon, turning the chimney into a drainage sluice for the elf-man’s innards.  I respect Superman for taking up the battle against St. Nick, but he should tone it down a little before there’s burst intestinal tracts all over the roof.

#6

Speaking of putting brand new holes in people, dig this moment of torture/fetish porn from the good people at DC.  Ah, Tommy the Hitman.  You were a feel-good romp from the first issue onwards (even in your  BLOODLINES debut!) but you rarely reached the heights you reached when you asked Santa to suck your shiny metal pistol.   Never did you seem more like a man.  Making the guy in the red suit cry was a nice added touch.  What a baby.  Won’t suck on a gun.  Pussy Claus, I call him.

#5

Speaking of fetishes…There are some things, once seen, that you cannot un-see, and the  above cover is one of them.  In fairness, this image isn’t about fighting back against Santa…this fight is long over and the spoils of war have begun.  I’d feel guilty about showing you this ultimate moment of Santa’s surrender if he didn’t look so darn okay with the whole thing.  But any way you slice it, a subdued and hogtied Santa, is one we’re all safe from, which makes this woman a hero.

#4

I’m pretty sure that’s blood all over Lobo’s knife, so we’ve moved up from implied maiming to full-out maiming.  Comics got so sophisticated in the 90s that even teenagers started reading them.  This thing sold through the roof, and through the drainpipes, and out the back of the garage when it came out.    Don’t settle back into your comfy chair just yet… the Santa-fighting’s about to get worse.

#3

It seems like another simple “someone’s threatening Santa” cover, but if you’ll look closely to the bottom right, and read the threat Jonah is giving the beloved St. Nick, you’ll notice that Hex has already killed a Santa before this cover began.  Lobo may have stabbed his Santa, but Hex ended the job with a smoking piece of Second Amendment Manhood.   Now we’re talking.

#2

More Second Amendment Solutions!  Let’s pray that the chainsaw can help in the battle if the shotgun proves ineffective.  I’m not sure how well Ash is doing against this zombie Santa, but he’s got the right attitude about his weapons choices.  There’s no way for this fight to go down tidy and you have to embrace it…someone’s losing vital parts and getting sprayed with guts –  it’s WAR damnit.  This is what the WAR ON CHRISTMAS has always been about:  Bloodshed and lethal force.  Only the strong are surviving.

#1

This is where the War on Christmas actually began.  This adorable premise of the child snapping Santa’s leg clean off in an inhumane bear trap ran afoul of the authorities in Boston back in 1954, where the local district attorney asked shopkeepers to voluntarily remove this spin-off (rip-off) of Mad Magazine from newsstands as it was deemed damaging to kids if they read it.  It was never legally banned, but it was morally shunned in record numbers (you can read a little about it HERE).  MAN, that’s cool.   And this was all of twelve weeks before the famous “Seduction of the Innocent”  Kefauver hearings in Congress, that led (in a roundabout way) to the Comics Code Authority.  So even though we fought back against his evil onslaught, Santa was still there to bite the whole industry in the ass.

Tomorrow, we kill Santa dead, and end his mission, once and for all in…

SANTA WARS 4:  He knows when you’ve been sleeping WITH THE FISHES!

Ty the Guy OUT!

Click HERE for WHERE SANTAS DWELL:  TOP 7  MONSTER SANTAS

or Click HERE for WHEN SANTAS ATTACK!  TOP 7 HOMICIDAL SANTAS.

Here now, your comic book Santa moment of zen:

Yup.  The Panic #1 Christmas cover was a stolen idea – one that didn’t seem to have  corrupted any youth when DC ran the original gag 18 years previously.  In fact, no one noticed or even remembered.  Sigh…

Some Unseen, and some SHOULD be unseen

Hey folks.

Over the weeks and months, I’m always drawing little things that have nothing to do with my job, but are still kind of fun to see anyway.  So, this being my blog, I get to put anything on here I want, nyah!

First up…it was my brother’s fiftieth birthday last week, and I got him a card.  Well, I never get ANYONE a card, it’s always so much cheaper to just draw one.  Unless you count the fact that the time I take could be spent earning money to buy a card, and then they’re bloody expensive.

Either way, this is my brother’s B-Day card.  It’s reproduced here online roughly size as.  And it looks like him, more or less, you can check it out here…(though Brad thinks he has more hair than this.  Dreaming, my brother.)

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I had some correspondence to do with Joe Giella last week, and since Joe is still doing the MARY WORTH comic strip every day, I thought it would be fun to send him a sketch of his own character on the outside of the package, done in the Joe Giella style (it’s not a swipe, though, it’s just me “doing” Joe).

Mary Worth. For those folks who think Miss Marple is "too sexy".

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And finally,  just a quick comment about the JONAH HEX movie.

Um.  Guys….

Why did you make a Jonah Hex movie?

I’m actually a fan of the comic book (it’s been fairly wonderful for years, despite anemic sales), but it’s silly to pretend the character is much beloved or well remembered by a generation of movie-goers and comic fans.  B-List would be a kind phrase.  Certainly he’s not a big enough character to lure in large enough crowds back to the western genre, which has been clinically dead at the box office for decades.   And from the looks of the AWFUL trailer, they’d added some pointless supernatural nonsense to the story, which meant it wasn’t even a real Jonah Hex movie.  On paper this movie has nothing going for it, I’m afraid to say.

But it does have this sort of thing, so you know, it's not ALL bad. Or are we all supposed to hate this woman now? I'm never sure what's expected of me.

It opened last weekend to a box office return of five million.  And that’s with some legitimate stars in it like Brolin, Malkovich, and the above pictured Megan Fox.  And to be honest, that’s about the box office I expected from it.

THIS is a DC movie, my friends. THIS is what they give us.

It’s not that I mind anyone making a Jonah Hex movie in principle.  (I’ll probably see this on video in a few months).    It’s just that there are SO many DC movies to make BEFORE the Jonah Hex movie that it’s mind boggling.  What is DC/Warner thinking this last decade?  The iconic characters, Wonder Woman, Flash, Aquaman, and others, all flop around in development and go nowhere, while they’re shelving these CASH COW characters for  Constantine, and the Losers?  Captain Marvel or Plastic Man movies are no where in sight, but there’s room on the schedule for STEEL and Jonah Hex?!?

No matter how truly excellent both STEEL and Jonah Hex might be, as pieces of auteur classic film making.  They’re still no damn World’s Finest movie, if you catch my drift.

Meanwhile, Marvel is a machine.  Spider-Man, X-Men, and Iron Man franchises all making A-List blockbuster movies, plus a fun set of B-List money makers like Fantastic Four, Daredevil, Kick Ass (closing in on a hundred million in world wide sales this week).  All because they seem to be in the business of making entertainment for a mass audience, instead of whatever the hell DC/Warner is doing.

I’ve heard through my sources that the well know SCALPHUNTER film treatment that’s been drifting around Hollywood has just been green lighted, and the epic AIR WAVE movie trilogy that was shelved by New World twelve years ago is up and running again.  As is the Sea Devils direct to youtube series.   God Help Us.

"Us make-um big wampum with right actor attached."

Ah, there’s always the GREEN LANTERN film to come along and ruin my theory be being really good.  Don’t hold your breath, though.

PS:

I have a theory about why there’s no Wonder Woman movie in production.  Who could wear this costume as convincingly?

Best Live Action Super-Hero Performer Ever.

Okay, I'm not being fair.

TY THE GUY OUT!