Love Bunnies Toons! YAY!

Love is in the air, and some of it is on the carpet.

Today is Valentine’s Day!  It’s also my youngest daughter’s birthday!  So it’s all about love, today, people.   And as someone who has been around the block a few times and lived a life of experience and knowledge, I have insights worth sharing.  (The block was in Metropolis, by the way, and the experience was all in monthly instalments.)

Now that’s solved everyone’s love life.

Ty the Guy OUT!

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Of course, that’s not the ONLY thing that comic books have taught me about love.  Here’s a BUN TOON from a while back explaining what comics have taught me about the science of slap and tickle…

That “Ty” signature in the heart shape has been the subject of SO MANY lawsuits between me and the Beanie Baby people.  Don’t make me relive it…

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For last week’s Bun Toon all about the Star Wars, click here.

For Bun Toons from the past click here.  HOLY COW!  I’VE UPDATED THE ARCHIVE?!?  Yes. 

Bun Toon #4 of 2013! YAY!

Number #4!

Everyone knows that first is gold, second is silver, and third is bronze, but how many knew that fourth was Coca-Cola?  It’s why athletes refuse the prize because all that corn syrup is bad for a body in training.

We continue our annual look back at the triumphs and failures of Bun Toon with an entry celebrating the 75th anniversary of ACTION COMICS #1 and comicdom’s greatest, non-flying, Golden Age, female, DC character who isn’t Ma Hunkle.  Screw Clark and Superman, they get all the media attention…this is…

I still have a crush on Margot Kidder, Teri Hatcher, Phyllis Coates, and Erica Durance.  Noel Neill looked too much like Lucille Ball for my tastes, and as far as I know, there haven’t been any other Lois Lanes except in the cartoons and funny books.

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As I just said, it doesn’t matter the name of the actor playing the character of Lois Lane, I love ’em all.

Actors, and stage names, was the subject of the following ALL-TRUE-TALE of the Bunny, but it scored nary a blip on the internet radar when I revealed this hidden moment from my life last fall.  If I had thrown Lois or Superman into the narrative, it would have been BIG, I tells ya BIG!

But then it wouldn’t have been TRUE.

I think this one didn’t do any traffic because I skimped on the title lettering.  Lesson learned:  Always use a Comicraft font for the titles.  People flock to good lettering.

I’ll see you here again tomorrow for the #3 most popular Bun Toon of 2013, and the third least successful entry, BOTH of which feature Superman, except for one of them.  (Well neither, really, but I understand marketing and you won’t come back if I say they were cartoons about lesbians.)

Ty The Guy OUT!

Research material for your weekend movie watching

So, it sounds like all the people who haven’t already seen Man of Steel are gearing up to see it tonight or tomorrow. I’ve seen LOTS of comments from people I know–and I’m impressed that the opinions are completely divided. People either hate it with a fiery passion or they’ve already bought tickets to see it for a third time.

DON’T tell me any spoilers, and plot points or…well, anything, as I’m planning to see it tomorrow with my youngest son. I’ve heard it’s a “Superman for our times” or “a Superman movie for people who weren’t Superman fans.”  Until I get to see it and have my own opinions, I thought I’d post some research material showing what I know about the character of Superman up until today, courtesy of past Bun Toons.

First up, the man himself:

 

And the woman herself:

And lastly, I made my own predictions as to how the summer’s box office would go–we’ll see in a couple of days how right I was:

 

Ty the Guy

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Bonus moments of superhero goodness!

My kids have always been superhero fans and showed it at an early age.

Superboy Taylor and Superbaby Sean

and, much like their dad, they didn’t always worry about whether they liked the guy everyone else liked:

Kellam in Blueface. Hallowe’en 1999, with Bunny Taylor and TyBunny

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And your Bonus bonus moment:

Click HERE to go to “Superman vs. Jesus vs. Halloween”

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Lois Lane Turns 75 Bun Toons! YAY

Now that she’s old enough to need glasses, does she recognize herself in the mirror?

It’s been a Superman celebration with his 75th anniversary of first publication this week.  Some are elated, some are annoyed the heirs to the Siegel and Shuster families have been left out of this celebration.  Some are annoyed that Lois Lane has been left out of the celebration, as it’s her anniversary, too!  I assume that’s because it’s impolite to point out a woman’s advanced age.

But I’m happy to point the Bun Toon at Superman’s main supporting character.

Mostly because my wife made me.

Here, now…

I didn’t mention that she once adopted a Kryptonian boy, dated Superman’s father Jor-el, and Luthor, and Batman, and Perry White’s son, and she once turned into a giant insect for a while, because you didn’t need to know that.

Happy Anniversary Lois.  

Ty the Guy OUT!

Lots of Bonus Moments today!

Lois Lane has a small importance around Ty Templeton’s Art Land!  She was the subject of our very first post, some years back now: The TOP SEVEN S&M BONDAGE COVERS OF LOIS LANE.

Click here to enjoy the bondage you never knew you’d missed as a child.

AND…since it’s 4/20, and we’re obsessively dedicated to inebriation in all it’s illegal forms, might we suggest you click onto the following cultural essay: THE TOP TEN POT-HEADS IN COMIC BOOKS!

Click here if you have a prescription from a doctor for medical use.

On Wednesday, we said our own personal “happy anniversary” to Superman.

Click here to celebrate Superman’s birthday with a drunken Sitcom star

And of course, there’s the usual links to those BUN TOON things I do from time to time…

For last week’s philosophically challenging Bun Toon, click the men of peace above

For the Bun Toon Archive, click the Singing Pastry

The Top Seven S&M Covers of Lois Lane. Seriously.

Come with me on a journey of discovery you will not soon forget.  Venture forth with the knowledge that once a thing is seen, it cannot be unseen.  Embark on a sojourn not only of sight and sound, but of mind, that will taint your childhood, and alter your DNA.  Enter, if you dare, the erotic sub/dom world of Superman’s Kinky Girlfriend in THE TOP SEVEN S&M COVERS OF LOIS LANE.

Every image is unaltered.  Every cover is REAL.  All Some art by Dick Giordano.  Most of the layouts are by Bob Oksner (I’ve been corrected, and am duly chastised, but I still believe Dick Giordano inked ’em).

Number #7

LOIS LANE 111:  Trapped by The Justice League

Okay, this is weak sauce.  So she’s in a bikini, and she’s being tied down?  Hardly something to keep the sheets bundled up at night, is it?  But it does mark the FIRST time either of those things happened in a Lois Lane comic, eleven years into the fifteen year run.   I mean, it’s not like Lois Lane didn’t

The Wondrous Negro Machine

have odd covers before, but she was mostly getting married to an assortment of people (creatures -Superman – Batman – convicts – Satan) every other month, or stepping into her “NEGRO-MACHINE” for the day.  Weird, sure, but were living in the Seventies, and we’d grown to expect innovations like the Negro Machine.  So this cover, with the little people putting the bondage to the half naked Lois, was the start, a dipping of the toe into the world of kink.  But oh, it’s gonna get so much better.  Hee hee.

Number #6:

LOIS LANE 122 :  77 Coffins

Okay, now we’re talking.  Lois is properly introduced to bondage and submission as she SHOULD be.  And DIG

Gone are the innocent days of marrying Satan.

that hog-tied roommate on the floor!!  You almost miss the leatherette wearing “Thorn” bound  up along side them, there’s so much misbehavior going on here.   What I love is that the letterer gave all the thought dialog to the one on the ground.(I think her name was “Melba”, or “Selma”, or “Does It Matter, She Was Clearly There To Stamp the Comic As Token Seventies Liberalism”)  Even the letterer knew, all eyes were on the floor.  I mean, this is NOT your big sister’s Lois Lane comics.  Why can’t a poor girl just marry Satan like she’s supposed to and get on with things?

Number #5

LOIS LANE 135:  The Amazing After-Life of Lois Lane

I don’t know about her after life, but she seems to be having an interesting afternoon.  If you learn one thing from this cover, learn THIS:  when tying a woman to a truck bumper, it’s important to separate the thighs as much as possible, and if you can get her to arch her back, it really helps.

These covers are starting to get interesting.  And I’m starting to wonder how Dick Giordano Bob Oksner spent his weekends.

Number #4:

LOIS LANE 123:  The Serpent in Paradise:

My wife cannot even look at this one without cringing.  I had to scan it with tongs, while she was out of the room. Okay, sure, if you’re going to have a story about serpents in paradise, you’ve got no choice than to throw a little snake bondage into the mix.  But what sets this cover apart is a new feature, which we’ll be seeing more of in the next few covers, and that is the “crotch” point. Check out Superman’s hand, with that bizarrely tilted finger pointing out the spot to look for Lois’ Crotch. You don’t believe in the “crotch point”?  Keep your eyes peeled.

Number #3:

LOIS LANE 127:  Curse of the Flame

Go ahead and deny the “crotch point” now.  Just go ahead.  That shark is interested in one thing and one thing only and that’s snacking on  her “bikini area” in a way that I suspect isn’t wholesome.  And why is Superman looking for the girl in the boat?  Hmm?  He should be looking for the MAN IN THE BOAT, but of course, he’s oblivious.  Oh well, at least something is going to eat her.  (Did I just go there?  Did I?!?)  Not so much bondage as the others, but a delightful switch on Vagina Dentata.

Number #2

LOIS LANE 133:  The Lady is a Bomb

Oh. My. God.

Can you even imagine what Bob was thinking when he sketched this cover?  (And inked, I suspect, by a Dick, and you may make of that what you will!).  What was DC editorial thinking?  We can only thank God and country that the colourist didn’t colour the lamppost red or pink, or there would have been a breakdown of the social order, and America would have been destroyed.

Where to start?

Okay, first off, is Superman spent?  He seems to be done…or is he just about to…No.  I can’t go there.

And why is the post all bent like that?  I heard President Clinton had a condition called…No I can’t.  This is a family blog.

And the torn clothes…?  The …ruined landscape.  TAKE THIS IMAGE AWAY!  It tempts me!  It mocks me!  It makes me feel all “grown up” in a way I don’t understand.  Bring me back to a world where Lois marries a serial killer, and things are NORMAL!

Number #1

LOIS LANE 120.

It doesn’t seem to have a title, so I’ll just call this one “THE MANY CROTCH DARTS OF LOIS LANE’S CROTCH, featuring Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane’s Vagina”. Or that might be too subtle.

This is the one time in history that someone was placed on a giant dart board as a means of killing them, with the bullseye someplace OTHER THAN BEHIND THEIR HEART.  According to the story, a Mexican band of Crotch Darters had been roaming the badlands of the border areas for days, and Superman is called in to investigate a series of “Crotch Dartings” that had plagued the country side.   I won’t ruin the ending for you, you’ll have to find a copy for yourself, but it involves crotches.  This is the ONLY comic book I’ve ever asked a creator to sign the cover of in my entire collection.  I begged, pleaded and demanded that Dick Giordano (the inker) sign this when I discovered we were both guests at the same small convention a few years ago.  I asked him what was going on at the time that Lois was suddenly all about the crotches and manacles, and Dick said  he hadn’t noticed any change in the covers for this period, but signed the copy with a smile.

Thanks for the memories, creative staff at Lois Lane.  I’ll never look at another Crotch Dart without thinking of you guys.

Ty The Guy

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