TY TEMPLETON’S IRONICALLY SELF-AWARE COMIC BOOK BONDAGE PARADE, part 2.

Bondage?  That’s where we are now?

I do six monthly posts about the rise of postmodernism as a result of new educational opportunities created by the second Industrial Revolution, and no one reads them.  I do an eleven day series about our collective struggle for a cultural soul in light of recent media consolidations and the blog gets thirty-five hits over those eleven days… But hogtie Lois Lane to a speeding truck with her thighs held open and 37,804 internet pervs find a way to my homepage.

But I’m no fool.  I understand the needs of the blog consumer, and I will accommodate with the content you heaving philistines so clearly demand.  Here is part two of…TY TEMPLETON’S IRONICALLY SELF-AWARE COMIC BOOK  BONDAGE PARADE.

I can't believe Marvel let me do this cover!

Both in the comments section, and in my email box, I was flooded with an estimated eight requests for Wonder Woman as my next subject.  Unfortunately, it proved nearly impossible to find images of the Amazon Princess in bondage, in either my comic collection or on the internet– even with the safe search off.  This screengrab from the Seventies WONDER WOMAN TV show was all I could find.

Those chains look uncomfortable. No wonder Nazis were considered rude.

morning

You’ll have to excuse me while I catch my breath after that much concentrated sarcasm.  Who here DIDN’T know that the ORIGINAL Princess Diana (Ms. Magazine’s Mascot) was THE poster girl for restraint fetishism for her entire career?  Her creator, Charles Moulton (aka Dr. William Moulton Marston, Phd in psychology from Harvard, and distinguished co-inventor of the lie-detector) was an outspoken bondage enthusiast who insisted in books and interviews that the world would be

noon

a more peaceful place if we all learned to sheepshank our loved ones.  This was before we knew that sort of thing was “weird” and he was still allowed to be photographed for glossy magazines and shop at local stores all through the forties and fifties. And if peace through mutual rope burns wasn’t enough for

night

Mr. and Mrs. America, the good doctor had two openly poly-amorous wives, each of whom bore him a couple of kids, and the whole sordid commune of anti-establishment love lived happily ever after.

Compared to Dr. Moulton,

she may look upset, but she still hasn't shouted her safe word.

Hugh Hefner was a pussy.

So finding images of Wonder Woman in bondage is about as hard as finding a closeted republican at a gay bar.  If you need to see shots of the chained up Amazon, grab your google and work your search engine, kids.  You’ll end up with enough drawings of Diana cattle-roped to a torpedo to wallpaper your sanctum sanctorum.

But in light of the double-mint twins marital arrangements that Dr. Willie had with the wives, this image (below) of two hot ladies RIDING THE MONSTER KANGAROO  does command attention, , but then, who hasn’t drawn two women riding the Monster Kangaroo?

Penis? What four legged penis?

Heck, riding the monster kangaroo is my regular phone-doodle, only I don’t draw the rollicking beast  with quite so phallic a body shape.

So it’s way too easy to go after the Amazon Princess, or the Phantom Lady, or even Robin and Bucky, the boy hostages.  No matter how much fun it is to draw a nicely restrained pale young boy wearing a domino mask, it’s just not “ART LAND” style to blog about the commonplace and mundane.

BATMAN is another story altogether.

I keep a sketch book.  All artists do.  It’s a place to warm up the  hands as we start our work day, like doing scales on a piano.  Sometimes the drawings are of two  headed nuns playing ice hockey, or equally silly images never meant to be shown to the public.  Sometimes I sketch ideas.  The following was never meant to be anything more than an image of how tough Batman was.  He can scare you pissless while still tied to a chair.

You want to see a tough guy? Find him some nails to eat.

This was just a doodle in a sketch book.  But I had an idea.  Could I do an entire issue where Batman is tied in a chair?  Where he doesn’t get out of the trap at all, and just SCARES the bad guys into giving up…?  That struck me as a fun challenge and I asked the editor if I could try it.  I was told “yes” but I had to include Robin and Batgirl in the story, since they were co-stars of the book at the time.  Well, that diluted the idea somewhat, but I was still happy to give it a chance, and I ended up writing one of my favorite little Batman stories for BATMAN ADVENTURES (vol 2) #6, during my more than ten years working on that title.   It’s only five pages, so I reproduce it below…THIS is bondage in comics done RIGHT.

page 1

pg 2

pg 3

pg 4

pg 5

Don’t ask about the Black Mask/Red Hood storyline.  The less said about that, the better.

There, I hope we’ve exhausted bondage for a while, you sicko pervs.  Tomorrow, the return of all new Ty Templeton Funnies for the weekend.  That post will be about coprophilia.

Ty the Guy

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New Pages from Mad Dog

Just posted four pages in the Mad Dog gallery…

Keiren

Bunny Funnies!

Today’s Bunny Funny is dedicated to Scott Shaw!, with love and respect. (He’ll know why.)

This was produced back in the 90s for DC Comic’s Shop Talk, so I understand the references are a little dated (for instance, who uses “phones” anymore?), but there might be the shred of a the funny in there, especially for octogenarians such as myself….and reprinting old material here is sort of the point of the blog…because it requires no effort on my part, whatsoever.

Seventies pop star, Bob Segarini*, once said to me, ” Fame is the inability to shop,”  but he also told me that you can cook fish inside the engine of a moving car, so we don’t travel together anymore.  The point is, I’ve been in the comics industry for more than a decade at this point, working on big, big characters, creating first issues and gaining critical success, decent sales and even an industry award or two…but still I shop completely unpestered by the great unwashed.  How do I do it?  Well, follow these six simple instruction, and fame and fortune will always be just out of reach.  It’s easy and fun!

(*Bob Segarini)

For those who are keeping score, I did eventually participate in one of the last issues of Mad Magazine before it went the way of all flesh…sigh.  But I outlasted Bob Harras at Marvel, and actually went on to draw some Spider-Man stuff after this came out.  In fact, Bob Harras had this page up on the wall of his office for months after it came out, and was very good-natured about it when we met.  He never offered me work, though, so I succeeded at that!

Of course, Frank Miller has ACTUALLY become famous since this page came out, or at least as famous as Sin City and 300 could make you…but he didn’t become famous as a cartoonist, he had to jump to making crappy films.  Again, sigh.

And to the very famous and successful Scott Shaw!   You didn’t follow the instructions buddy, but you still pulled it off!  Congrats.

Ty the Guy.  Somewhere in the wilds of downtown Canada, watching the wife dig the car out of the snow, lazy bastard.

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New Pages!

starting now…

first up, a couple more of Spidey/Torch, including a Gwen Stacey page.

A video box cover from the 90s X-Men series.

And a couple from the story Ty did for the GLXmas Special Ty did Dan Slott.  (Grasshopper–will he die or won’t he?)

And, pages from one of Ty’s favourite projects:  Mad Dog!

New Pages…

coming soon.  Ty’s been crazy-busy with work (Dexter: The Early Cuts, and the Simpsons: Love Potion Numbs Her Mind) and I’ve been equally so, doing some colours for the Dexter panels.  But, he tells me that he’s scanned a bunch of new pages, and I should be getting them on the site tomorrow…some new Spideys, Mad Dog, and others.