Tag Archives: Marvel

Bun Toons is Still Here?!? YAY!



retail revised

Sigh, I can’t believe we’re still dealing with this nonsense in 2017.

If the “diversity” books weren’t selling, Marvel would stop publishing them.  If the “replace the main superhero with another character inside the suit” gag wasn’t working, Marvel would stop doing it.

If these books not selling in YOUR comic store, consider the problem isn’t the characters.  Because they’re doing very well online, where the customer doesn’t have to go into your friendly shop.

Let’s talk about Red Hulk, or Rulk to his friends.

red hulk.jpg

His identity was hidden for almost a year, and all we knew was that he wasn’t Bruce Banner.  Sales were through the roof.  If the “human” version of Red Hulk had turned out to be Hispanic or Asian, would the sales have gone down?  I hope not.  But even with a “white guy” under the red skin, the sales petered out after a while anyway.  After a last gasp membership in the Thunderbolts a couple of years ago, the Red Hulk no longer has his own title, and can only be found in the (struggling for sales) USAvengers.*

That’s how this gag works.  Marvel has been doing it for decades.

bucky cap

Before Cap was a “black guy”, he the ghostly return of a dead sidekick for a couple of years.  Besides, the “Black Cap” of today is on sale next to the “Nazi Cap” so everyone has a Cap to purchase in 2017.


Did this count as diversity?  Doc Ock was OLD when he replaced Peter Parker as Spider-Man.  ALSO:  I think his heritage is East European.  That used to be considered “ethnic”.

*edited to correct Red Hulk’s current status.

Sorry I haven’t been around to Bun Toon for a number of weeks.  I’ve been committed to drawing a new Bun Toon every weekend I’ve been home, and have continued to do that since this all began…


I’ve been at a comic convention four out of the last six weeks, and the last three weeks in a row.  That makes it seem like I’ve given up on my little bunny adventures, but I absolutely have not.  I’m still drawing one every weekend I’m at home…I’m just home a little less nowadays.

I’m here for at least another couple of weeks before I head out to Los Angeles in late October, and I promise you, each and every weekend I’m in Toronto, there shall be a bunny on your computer being a smartass.

Thanks for sticking around.

Here’s the link to the last Bun Toon…lo, three weeks ago now.

will link

Four More Panels! YAY!

rust bunny logo

Because five panels is exhausting.

There’s fightin’ a brewin’ in the world of comics, and you can’t tell the good guys from the bad guys without a scorecard.  As always, the six foot rabbit in the room is the only one willing to help out.  So here’s…

civil war four panels

I’m likely to actually go and see this Civil War movie tomorrow, and I’ll let everyone know how it went when I get back, but until then, I’m fairly sure my judgement is a safe bet.

Ty the Guy OUT!

civil war comic

If you’re one of the millions of fans who never read the original series the movie is based on:  It was a fight between factions of the Marvel Universe, some of whom saw the covers as half full, where others saw the covers half empty.


It took until the Black Giant Man was killed before everyone agreed that the covers were simply half finished, and we all went back to work drawing the bottom of things again.  Of course, drawing bottoms is what launched Frank Cho’s career.


If you’re interested in the comic story that STARTED all the fighting between factions of the mythical world, look no further than here:

hulk v buddha

For some reason, my Hulk v The Buddha comic strip was all over facebook last week, and I thought I’d repost it here so folks could at least know where Civil War started.  (The Buddha was an original Avenger before Ant-Man, back in the fifties, with 3-D Man and Venus, look it up).

death link

For the previous Bun Toon, mourning the passing of Prince, Chyna and a few others, click Death if you dare.

rust bunny logo

For the Bun Toon archive, reaching back to the late Middle Ages, click the angry rabbit above.



Teeny Tiny Bun Toons! YAY!

It's not the size of the Bun Toon that matters...

It’s not the size of the Bun Toon that matters…

Again, Marvel opens up a movie with a character the general public knows next to nothing about.

Again, the humble Bunny is here to help the novice sort it all out…

ant man four panels

I’m actually DYING to see this one.  I have a fondness for ANT-MAN that’s almost unnatural…

Ty the Guy OUT!


During the period of time I was writing an Avengers animated comic called “Avengers United They Stand”, Hank Pym/Ant-Man was the only original Avenger on the team every month…  So I featured him as a heroic, smart, funny, charming and all-around cool guy, leading the squad…

I drew the covers too, this is one of mine.

I drew the covers too, this is one of mine.

Of course, the series was cancelled after eight issues.


No one loves the comic book Hank Pym.


For last week's equally pathos-filled Bun Toon...click here.

For last week’s equally pathos-filled Bun Toon…click here.

For the Bun Toon archive, click here.

For the Bun Toon archive, click here.

Everybody’s Happy Now Bun Toons! YAY!

Isn't it nicer when everyone is happy?  Sigh...

Isn’t it nicer when everyone is happy? Sigh…

Hey, it’s in the news, it’s about comics, I have to make a comment.

kirby settlement websize

There…I told you everyone was happy.

Ty the Guy OUT!


The bonus moment is just as happy.  It was from Christmas a couple of years ago, and Christmas is always happy.

support the tropesPS:  If you link back to this Bun Toon, try not to give away that it’s all about Jack, that’s sort of the punchline both times..



For a link to a Bun Toon that's all about ME for a change, click above.

For a link to a Bun Toon that’s all about ME for a change, click above.

More Bun Toons than you could reasonably read await after you click here.

More Bun Toons than you could reasonably read await after you click here.


The Top Ten Captain Marvels

So now Carol Danvers has been switched from Ms. Marvel to Captain Marvel, a change in rank that might not be a promotion, given that I’m more likely to listen to a woman than a military man about almost anything.  By my count, she’s something like the twelfth or thirteenth character to use the concept, and that doesn’t include Doc Samson or the Flash stealing the Big Red Cheese’s original costume…

Given that I have a blog and twelve spare minutes today, I have no choice but to rank the Captains Marvel for the breathless internet public.
I don’t want to…I HAVE to.

Here now, the



Amalgam Captain Marvel.  

The easiest Amalgam of them all was little more than a wasted opportunity.  He does nothing but occupy space, he didn’t even make the cover of either of the issues he appears in.  Once you get the idea that both Marvel and DC had characters with this name, the effort is done.  There’s the stink of laziness all over this guy, and considering how clever and fun the Amalgams were, this is inexcusable.

Kree-Shazam…oh, forget it.


Not applicable. He’s an empty suit


Mahr Vehl.

I must be a modern comic. Look at all that detail.

The “Ultimate” Captain Marvel is nothing of the sort.  Though some of the Ultimate comics update and re-imagine traditional Marvel characters with a sensibility better suited to a 21st Century reader, this particular Ultimate character is nowhere near as fun, sympathetic, or memorable as any other version of this character, including the Amalgam one.  The Ultimate Gah Lak Tus and the Ultimate Vision (both in the story Mahr Vehl first appears in), are  equally second rate compared to the 616 Universe. Don’t fix what ain’t broke, peoples.


Ultimate Secret. But I’m being kind.


Monica Rambeau

Who remembers me? Show of hands…

You have to give points to Marvel Comics for trying to create a black female super-hero (who wasn’t a mutant), who would kick butt and take charge.  A sort of Ororo/Storm for the Avengers, but using someone else’s name.  The problem was, the writers and editors never let the character earn her place after she was created by Roger Stern and JR JR in a Spider-Man annual.  She complained about being out of her league too darn much, she never really mattered in the stories she was in, never was given a major role in the Marvel U, and she gave up the name without a fuss when the opportunity came about, calling herself PHOTON.

Her last issue before the name change. Did anyone buy this?

Even when she became leader of the Avengers (briefly) she screws up on her first mission, accidentally merging with the Atlantic Ocean and barely surviving the watery event.  After that, she’s relegated to crowd scenes when EVERY character in the universe has to gather to get smacked around by Thanos or Dormammu or someone.   I think she was in MARVEL DIVAS a while back, but who read that? When the idea to be inclusive meets stories that barely rise above tokenism, you end up with this mess of a character.  It’s too bad.


The Spider-Man Annual, when her potential was yet unsquandered.



The boy, before he was a captain.

My fondness for No-Varr comes from the Grant Morrison/JL Jones mini-series from a 2000 (Marvel Boy), that involved the character turning New York state into a giant swear word.  Though he started out stealing the name

What? Another stolen name?

from a 50s Marvel character, he graduated to stealing the more famous name, becoming the bad boy version of Captain Marvel from an alternate universe, and that means I can CHANGE him and make him better if only he’d let me.  That’s true love.   And as the “bad boy” Captain Marvel, it’s appropriate that he first takes the Captaincy when he joins the “Dark Avengers”.

He’s currently an Avenger called Protector, a name he stole from Atlas Comics (a company that stole their name from Marvel’s 50s incarnation, Atlas Comics…this is all so fun), and his costume is a mess of black and white stripes and boxes that looks like it took all of twenty minutes to design. Oh well, we’ll always have Marvel Boy.

The all-new “Protector” hero.

Stolen again!


He just wants someone to tame him, I swear.


Genis Vell

Cool update on a classic costume, and some interesting cosmic story lines, though I could have done without the insanity stuff and the alt-universe sister showing up, also claiming to be Captain Marvel.  For a while Genis Vell thought his dad was Starfox/Eros, the super-rapist of the galaxy, but it turned out Genis  was the son of a Kree traitor instead.  Either way, no father’s day cards.  At some point, our hero drops the name Captain Marvel for the name Photon, which Monica Rambeau obviously gave up as easily as her Captain Marvel identity.  Monica can’t hold onto anything.


The run of issues by Peter David, despite the crazy and the sister.


Freddie Freeman

Forgive the racism, it was a more “innocent” time.

The “Robin/Bucky” of the Fawcett Marvel world, Captain Marvel Jr. rose

The REAL Captain Marvel Jr.

above his origins to be a fairly strong character on his own.  The artwork for the Little Blue Cheese was consistently wonderful:  Mac Raboy and Kurt Schaffenberger in the Golden Age, Dave Cockrum, Don Newton and Kurt Schaffenberger in the Silver Age and Jerry Ordway in the Bronze Age, ol’ Freddie Freeman lucked out with some great visuals throughout his career, and he even had time to play first base for the Atlanta Braves for a while.  Plus:  Who doesn’t love the Tiny Tim vibe?  God Shazam us, every one.


Anything by Mac Raboy.


Mary Marvel

Apparently, girls like giant butterflies.

Called Captain Marvel in the POWER OF SHAZAM series, so she counts too.  When I was a teenager, Bob Oksner was the illustrated for all the Mary Marvel stories in SHAZAM!, and these were the highlight of my month when she’d appear in the back up tales.  I had a crush on her…a line drawing.  I know it’s wrong, but I did.  She was the ultimate girl-next-door, in a way that Supergirl never quite was.  And the eight year old girl version of her from Jeff Smith’s run was amazing.  HATED what they did to her in all the awful Crisis/Countdown/Crisis/52/Blackest Night/Crisis nonsense.  Shameful handling of a great character.  I’m waiting to see that they don’t screw her up in the Gary Frank series she’s in now.


The new Monster Society of Evil by Jeff Smith…where Mary is about eight.


Billy Baxter

That’s not a typo, I mean Baxter, not Batson.  This Captain Marvel, published briefly by Myron Fass Enterprises in the mid-sixties, has lived in my heart for decades.  His comics came out when I was about five years old, and since I have a couple of these, I  cannot view them with any objectivity.  They are simply wonderful building blocks of my childish psyche. “SPLIT!” is as powerful as “Flame on!” as far as I’m concerned…and that’s quite a co-incidence as this Captain Marvel was illustrated by Carl Burgos, creator of the original Human Torch.  Included in this series was the equally trademark squatting characters of “Dr. Fate”, “The Ray”, “Plastic Man”, “The Destroyer” and “The Bat”, proving Myron liked to live on the edge of lawsuits for thrills.   The Bat is the best, because he changed his name to “THE RAY” to avoid a DC lawsuit (even though the Ray was a Quality Comics character) and his costume looked exactly like the Martian Manhunter.  You could see why the company was called “MF Comics”; I think it was an abbreviation for something other than the publisher’s name.   This is the original squatter on the Captain Marvel title, so it gets extra points for picking at the corpse first.


All of them. There’s only six issues of this guy.



This one picked at the corpse of the Billy Baxter version, technically, as it came out about two years after MF’s title.  His original appearance in MARVEL SUPER-HEROES #12 was less than thrilling, and his first couple of years in his own title wouldn’t have left much of an impact on anyone…but then HOO BOY, we get the Gil Kane version, with the new costume and Rick Jones in ish #17.

Now we’re talking.

I love how that version of this familiar name went back to the idea that the Captain and a young boy would share the same identity, and would change back and forth with a bolt of lightning. I mean, if you’re going to steal a character, steal it full out. That’s bold.
But the quality of the art and stories improved so much, I forgave the obvious rip-off and dug right in. By the time Jim Starlin came along, Cap was amongst my top five favorite Marvel comics.


The Trial of the Watcher, and sadly, the Death of Captain Marvel.


Billy Batson

The first, the original, at one point the best selling comic book in the world, and the basis of the SHAZAM catch phrase for Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. (you youngsters can look Gomer up, I’m not explaining everything.)
He was almost called Captain Thunder or Captain Lightning, but smart marketing heads prevailed, and, as Captain Marvel, the character ended up the quintessential super-hero of the Golden Age, perhaps the best super-hero of all time. The mix of serious business and lighthearted fun was perfect for the war era, but it hasn’t translated well into modern versions and the character has been relegated to misfires and almost-gets-it-right stories for decades. It’s hard not to love the Jeff Smith and Jerry Ordway runs, and I’m sort of digging the Gary Frank version coming out now in the back of Justice League, but I can’t see how you could improve on the C.C. Beck and Otto Binder version from sixty years ago. Besides three Captain Marvels, this series gives us Lieutenant Marvels, Uncle Marvels, Hillbilly Marvels, Bunny Marvels and a sharp dressed talking tiger named Tawny. Beat THAT, comics industry.

Pictured above: Courtroom sketches from the 50s

For some reason, because the Captain could fly, he wore a cape, his secret identity was a reporter, and his arch villain was a bald scientist, DC comics felt he was a trademark infringement on Superman. Eventually a court did as well, and Fawcett closed down their publishing line in 1957 to avoid a large cash settlement.
Lawyers are scum.


The original Monster Society of Evil. Was there a second choice?

So, Carol has a hell of a legacy to live up to.  (And of course, Genis Vell was called “Legacy” in his early appearances, so that’s taken as well).

We’ll be keeping an eye on you, Ms. Danvers.  We expect Monster Society quality stuff, or at least a .285 batting average for the Braves.

Ty the Guy OUT!

Here now, your BONUS Captain Marvel moment.

Legendary sax player Stan Getz got into the Captain Marvel action with this classic album from the 70s. Apparently ANYONE can use the name at this point.


The New New Testament?

In the spirit of Easter Monday, the day that Christians believe that Jesus resurrected and started showing off a little of that holy spirit, I’ve turned my attention to the subject of resurrection in comic books.

We’re all thrilled that Joker was brought back to life by editor Whitney Ellsworth in his very first appearance.  And we cheered Superman, Green Lantern, Green Arrow, Luthor, Bucky, Reed Richards, Captain Marvel and Captain America when they all returned from the dead.  And Batman when he comes back, and whoever is next to go…it’s all part of the gig.  But what about the mistakes?  The horrible retcons and the undoing of GREAT farewell issues?   Because I’m a cynical bastard at heart, I tend to focus on the screw ups and the terrible tales…I love that stuff.

And so, on this, the arbitrarily chosen anniversary of one of the bigger resurrection tales in history, I list





Today is a good day to die. And so is Thursday. And the weekend is good, perhaps around brunch.

Created by Andy Lanning, Dan Abnett and Jackson Guice for DC Comics in the late 90s, the character of Mitchell Shelly was a lawyer who could not die.  Shoot him in the face,  he was back in ten minutes, thanks to an experimental nanotechnology formula coursing through his veins that fixed any hole, rupture, exploded heart or crushed skeleton he bad-lucked his way into that issue.  And you know, if you left it there, you have an interesting idea.  But the concept of an un-killable lawyer wasn’t pants wetting enough for these guys, Old R-Man had a GIMMICK, too!  Every time Mitch died and came back, he got a brand new super-power, because you know, that’s logical.   Sometimes when he picked himself up off the ground, he could fly, or shoot beams from his eyes, or he suddenly understood the intricacies of feng shui, and it was different every time.  Then it got weird.

He developed this device he wore around his wrist called “The Resurrector”, which allowed him to know what powers he would get, depending on how he next died.  So it was ENCOURAGING him to commit suicide.  It was a Suicide Watch, clearly, but they hadn’t the courage to name it . Can we all say ICCCCKKKK at the same time?

The scripts were actually okay, really, and the art by Butch Guice was excellent…but how could a series based around so wholesome and friendly a concept as continuous suicide ever get canceled?



Norman Osborn

I'll bet this comic had "meaning" and "drama" when you first read it, suckers!

Oh, THIS old tale.  An industrialist ingests an experimental formula, gains super-intelligence-and-mad-strength, dons a Halloween goblin costume, fights Spider-Man, kills the love of that hero’s life, and ends up impaled on his own rocket glider.  Gone, dead, gone—a beautifully told tale that runs from Spider-Man’s first year, until issues #121-122.  And at least this time, the experimental formula is going inside an INDUSTRIALIST.  No more undead lawyers.

You couldn’t bring a character like the Goblin back after so dramatically correct an ending as he saw in #122.   But a fleeting twenty years later, towards the end of the universally despised CLONE NONSENSE, we discover that Osborn was alive and well, and had been behind damn near every piece of evil shit that happened to Spider-Man in the years in-between, including the Clone Stuff, Spider-Man’s tax audit, Gwen Stacy’s lost virginity and the death of Aunt May.

The explanation?  See, the Goblin had long ago healed himself of that nasty bout of “impaled chest cavity” disease more or less just because he was all “super-heal-y” and stuff, we just didn’t know… and he had more or less just gotten up off the slab at the morgue, replaced himself with a recently chest-impaled homeless guy,  and wandered off to Europe to secretly pull the strings of damn near every piece of evil shit that happened to Spider-Man in the years in-between.

A world famous Super-Villain and equally world famous billionaire industrialist, went wandering undead around Europe for twenty years and did not get noticed.  Lucky guy was only world famous in the United States I guess.

Though there have been a few good Norman stories of late, the Osborn resurrection made us all victims of the Gwen-Stacy-gave-Norman-her-virginity-and-had-kids-with-him-that-grew-up-to-try-to-kill-Peter story line that made a generation of Spider-Man fans physically ill a few years back.  And that I cannot forgive.



Iron Man – The Crossing  – Timeslide

This comic is a good argument for going blind.

Not a resurrection in the technical sense, so it’s lower on the list than it should be.  For its sheer nonsense factor, it should be around #2, but here’s the 411:  Around Avengers #395, it started to come out that Tony Stark had been a long time agent of Kang, the Avengers time traveling enemy.  And now Iron Man was working against the Avengers and the only way to stop him was to travel back in time and pick up a teenage Tony Stark from BEFORE he was a Kang agent, and strap the teenage Stark into some IRON MAN armor and let the teenage one kill the middle aged, drunken Kang Bad Guy Iron Man so he could be replaced by a new, commercially friendly TEEN IRON MAN.

Lordy lordy, it was awful.  A special kind of awful.  And thankfully, it all wrapped itself up in less than a year, as the entire Avengers franchise was handed over to Rob Liefeld to clean it up, and it was swept under the rug like the skin of a dead animal.  Imagine a time when Rob Liefeld was an improvement on what you were getting previously, and pray you never read these comics.  Pray hard.



Alfred Pennyworth

I'm betting the terrible skin rash is influencing his decision to turn evil.

The granddaddy of the preposterously stupid resurrection stories of the Batman Universe.  Show of hands, how many of you knew Batman’s famous butler had died?  We ancient fans, in our mid-forties, recall a time (Detective #328) when Alfred pushed the Caped Crusaders to safety one evening, whilst they were menaced by a giant boulder, and he was squished flat by this boulder and left for dead by Batman and Robin who wandered off to put a little Aunt Harriet in their lives.  (An editorial decision had hoped that folks might stop thinking Bruce and Dick were gay if they had a spinster aunt living with them.   Well, obviously, the gays never go near the spinster aunts!) Sadly, with crime to fight, there was no time to go back and get Alfred’s body for burial, or even to think much about it after a while, and Batman and Robin

Dressing up in swim trunks while Batman pounds you on the chest=NOT GAY.

left Pennyworth’s rotting corpse to the hands of a mad scientist named BRANDON CRAWFORD, who we find out (in Detective #356) sort of fiddled around with Alfred’s dead body, hoping to resurrect him.   He had mixed results, bringing Alfred back to life all right, but accidentally turning him into a boil covered telekinetic super-villain named the Outsider.   After turning the Batmobile and Batcave against our Dynamic Duo, the OUTSIDER  effects kind of “wore off” and that was that.  Smiles all around.

And then they kicked Aunt Harriet out of their lives, and resumed what they were doing before all this nonsense began.  Alfred NEVER talks about it.  Neither do we.



Doctor Doom

Doctor Doom cannot come to the battle right now, but if you leave your name and power level, he'll get back to you.

I have had enough of bringing Doctor Doom back from the dead.  The first eighty-six times they did it, it was all kinds of fun-cookery, but after a while, who didn’t notice the pattern?  As soon as someone kicks Doctor Doom’s ass, and he falls off a cliff, into the nether-lava, we all know IT’S NOT DOCTOR DOOM.  It’s a clone, or a robot, or his brother in-law, or his chiropractor.  In fact, any time you start to think you have the drop on Doctor Doom, you might as well pack up and go home, because it won’t be him.  Face it.  Doom is a pussy.  A complete pussy.  He wouldn’t go into battle with a real enemy if there was any danger on the line, and he’s shown it over and over again.  He hides at HOME.  Punk ass pussy.  You know that green costume he wears?  It was originally BLUE, but the gallons of coward urine this knee-knocking candy boy has been spraying from his terrified urethra has stained it green over the years.

That’s right, Doom.  You heard me.  You’re a coward, and I’m calling you on it.  What are you going to do?  Send your best friend from summer-camp after me in a Doom Suit?  Call me when you grow a pair.  Ty’s new rule.  You CAN’T KILL DOCTOR DOOM anymore.  We no longer care.



Jason Todd.   Robin II

Hey everybody! There's no reason not to like me!

If we depend on my obviously fuzzy memory,  Jason was either an orphaned circus boy (like Dick Grayson), or an jerk street kid who stole the wheels off of the Batmobile on a whim and became Robin the Second.  I seem to recall that Jason was fairly popular when first introduced, and equally unpopular once he’d morphed into the “total douche” version of Robin after the CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS (or “Ass-Hat-Robin”, as he was known at the time).  But rather than just “improving the writing”, (a tactic abandoned in a number of comics throughout the nineties), DC had a phone line poll to see if the brat lived or died.  After a judicial application of tire-iron to the boy’s skull, at the hands of the Joker, the phone calls were counted.  The kid lost, and Crap-Robin was mercifully Dead.  Gone.  Dead.  Batman got mopey.  Tim Drake eventually showed up as the new Robin.  We got on with our lives…

Enter Superboy-Prime and the glorious, magical, transcendent RETCON PUNCH.

I’ll try to explain this to the unfamiliar, and you’ll believe me insane when I do, but here goes: There’s a version of Superboy from a parallel world, and that world got destroyed before THAT Superboy had much of a chance at a career of super-ing  Instead of saving banks from teenage Lex Luthor, Superboy-Prime got to see his universe wiped out, and as a reward, he got to live on a farm in the parallel nether-world of Paradise Wonder Cove Land, with an older version of himself that was married to old Lois Lane.  And there was a teenage version of Luthor there, too…with a terrible perm and metal pants.  So Superboy-Prime did what any teenager with the powers of a god would do (when the only nearby female was married to an older version of yourself)…he punched the walls of his pocket  universe in frustration.  And each punch changed someone’s history back here on Earth (including dead Jason Todd’s), because, like, the Super-ripples of continuity super-frustration and confusion, went forth from the parallel world and just…”did stuff” to the universe, man. POW!  The Doom Patrol is sort of not dead.  POW, Brother Power the Geek has a muskrat farm in Ohio.  BANG.  What ever the royal f**k your head could blort out, could be explained away by one of these retcon punch things….

NOTE TO EDITORS:  You CANNOT allow writers to use just ANY substance to help them be inspired. NO ingesting cactus and anything with little pictures of Care Bears printed on them.

Anyway, a Superboy-Prime punch caused the highly tire-ironed and very much ripped-apart-in-an-explosion Jason Todd to just “wake up” in his coffin and claw his way to the surface.  And the digging out section of his week didn’t require any air, but it did require temporary superhuman strength, to push the six feet of dirt and coffin lid off him, but then that went away.

And now Jason’s back.  Sometimes he’s Nightwing.  Sometimes he’s the Red Hood.  Once he pretended to be Clayface pretending to be Jason Todd.  It’s all good.



Aunt May dies beautifully in Amazing Spider-Man #400.

Comes back with a bomb in her head, about four years later.

If you don't cry reading this comic, you're a psychopath.

At the time they killed off Peter Parker’s perennial pill popping Aunt May, I thought it was a poor choice, as the character was too important to the basic Spidey dynamic to lose (especially after so many other core characters had died… Uncle Ben… high school sweetheart Gwen… best friend Harry, favorite high school teacher Professor Warren, and best villain, the Goblin, amongst others).  But it was impossible to argue the story wasn’t touching and memorable.  May gets a sense that it’s “her time” and she and Peter go to the Empire State Building, where she confesses to Peter that she’s known he was Spider-Man all along, and she tells him that she’s secretly proud of him and Ben would be, too.  They discuss tiny details of their time together, and wrap up a lifetime of love.  Then she goes home, lies down, cradles Peter’s face, gets a sudden worrying fever, and dies, while Mary Jane waits in the hall outside with her Aunt Anna.

Go read the story and try not to cry.  I’m sobbing like a bear caught in a leg trap just typing this.

But a few years later, Howard Mackie returned Aunt May to the world or Spider-Man using a little known writing trick called “not giving a crap if you suspend disbelief or not.”

Here’s the rub:  The Aunt May who died at home, surrounded by family, friends and detailed memories of their lives together, was, in fact, an actress, hired by Norman Osborn, and given DNA altering compounds and plastic surgery to more closely resemble Aunt May…all because Normie wanted to make Peter experience the death of a loved one, essentially as a really mean prank.   This was part of his being behind everything awful that happened to Peter scheme mentioned earlier.  Why KILLING the actual Aunt May wouldn’t have been a far meaner prank is beyond any mortal mind to comprehend.  Instead, the Goblin kidnaps the REAL Aunt May and replaces her with the actress…then, after carefully not killing Aunt May at all, he surgically implants her with a bizarre weapon/device/bomb in her skull that makes nearby people melt into piles of DNA goo if Norman presses a button.  THEN, he puts May Parker into suspended animation, to pull out as a goo-melting dead-Aunt trump card, should he need one in the middle of a battle.  Which he does in Spider-Man #75.

I swear to god Marvel published it.  I didn’t just dream it.  It may be the single worst retcon of all time.  And I’m including the much maligned BRAND NEW DAY, which resurrected Harry Osborn with the delightfully succinct “I’ve been in Europe”, where the undead are clearly commonplace.

What happened at the editorial meeting where someone said “Let’s bring back Aunt May, wire her head with a flesh-gooing weapon, claim the one in the gravesite next to Ben was a genetically altered actress, and the fans will just ADORE it!”?!?  How could a loving and forgiving god have allowed this comic to be published?


Please...let my soul rest with peace and dignity...please...

Peter...why won't they let me die in peace...Peter...?

I’m sure I missed some.  Hammerhead escaping a nuclear explosion by turning into a ghost.  Red Skull becoming a disembodied spirit of  hate…and ALL those Life Model Decoys taking one for the team.  If there’s an especially awful resurrection I left out, let me know in the comments section.

Til then, happy Resurrection Day!

Ty the Guy


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