Scientific Study of the Evidence Bun Toons! YAY!

No jumping to conclusions here…though I might hop to one or two.

Give it a minute and we’ll have another mass shooting somewhere in the lower 48.  This time around, the conversation has settled down on the obvious causes and there’s no more pesky controversy.

I’m amazed this was ever up for discussion.

The next time someone suggests that murder and violence is caused by anything BUT games, laugh in their face like the blithering moron that they are.

The evidence is IN.

Ty the Guy OUT!

THE BONUS:

Years ago, the Kefauver hearings in Congress determined beyond a shadow of a doubt that comic books caused juvenile delinquency and society was saved by the Comics Code Authority.

So where was the Code when THIS video game comic book tie-in was released.  Who was thinking of the CHILDREN?!?  HOW MANY DIED in the aftermath?!?

I suspect the comic’s publisher died shortly after this was released. I’ve never heard of ’em since. 

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For last week’s equally instant solution to a societal problem, click the hyper-sexualized image of Harley Quinn above.

For the COMPLETELY UPDATED Bun Toons Archive, click the proud Bunny above

 

 

Bun Toons for the Family! YAY!

Smarten up, young man, or I'll put you over my knee!

Some friends of mine recently became pregnant with their first child, and they’re nervous about the experience.   I have four kids, ranging from 25 down to 10 years old, and this old pro knows what he’s doing.   Like all my “Honest-To-God Adventures” every word of this story is true.

Anyone who needs some advice on child rearing, now you know where to turn.

TY THE GUY OUT!

Here now, your Bonus Batman, Spider-man, Wonder Woman, Cake Moment:

Because everything exists if you google it.

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For last week's politically astute Bun Toon click the image of GOOD-MAN!

For Every Bun Toon Ever, click the Good-Bunny

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Hoverboy Week Continues! VIDEO GAME EDITION

We’re still promoting Hoverboy awareness at ART LAND, in light of the contest we’re running at the Hoverboy Facebook Fanpage, where HOVERBOY-o-philes can win a piece of ORIGINAL Hoverboy artwork, just by joining that Fanpage, naming their favorite Hoverboy villain from the past, and waiting patiently while the winning entry is drawn from a bucket by superstar actress Sarah Samms at the end of the month!

But first…Hoverboy was featured JUST THIS WEEK on G4 TV!

The hosts of G4's "X-Play", luring viewers in with their strange but exciting version of a wet T-Shirt contest.

It’s  hard to believe it’s been nearly thirty years since the Hoverboy family of games were produced for the SOFTIE GAMES system in the EXCITE-O-VISION format, and even harder to believe that they were given an odd revival of sorts this week by Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb, hosts of the show X-Play (on G4 TV) .  Their annual “TRIBUTE TO UNPOPULAR VIDEO GAMES” episode featured the Floating Fighter of Crime this time around, and Hoverfans were not disappointed.   Here Morgan is dressed as Hovergirl, hero of the highly unsucessful 8 bit game “Hovergirl’s Shopping Spree” from 1982. For gameplay your character floated through a downtown neighborhood shoplifting things from various strip malls and hiding them up her shirt.  As the shirt bulges up, your score increases, but you get hit on by various swarthy men, and your morality and intelligence meter goes down.  According to the rules, a woman with a “big bulging shirt” is less smart or trustworthy.

A screen capture of HOVERGIRL'S SHOPPING SPREE, circa 1982. Since the designers of the 8 bit games were all foreign devils who spoke little English, it's easy to see how they confused "sexy" with "sexist".

The Hovergirl game was very realistic for its time (and certainly less objectionable than its rightfully banned counterpart “Negro Hoverboy’s Looting Spree”), but it sold less than three hundred copies around North America in its original release…unlike the HOVERBOY 8-bit EXCITE-O-VISION  game, HOVERBOY VS. THE BRICK WALLS, which sold twice that number.

Level 12 of the almost completely unpopular HOVERBOY Vs. BRICK WALLS. This layer featured bricks AND fiberglass insulation

After months of lackluster sales, the SOFTIE GAMES people attempted a clever marketing idea that was astoundingly unsuccessful, advertising that every copy of the game sold was guaranteed “MINT IN BOX”….which meant that each game came with a mint in each box.    Fortunately for all concerned, only three copies were ever sold in this condition, as the “mints” themselves were made of inorganic packing material, otherwise retailers would have had to have obtained a food vendors license.    Of the three “mints” sold to an unsuspecting public, only one was swallowed, and that was easily removed by hours of painful surgery.

A rare, unsold copy of HOVERBOY vs. the BRICK WALLS, still "mint in box". Sometimes an idea is simply too f***ing stupid to work. Even with gamers.

For slightly more information about Softie Games, the EXCITE-O-VISION format and Hoverboy video games, go HERE.

And be sure to head over HERE to join the Hoverboy Facebook page, and earn that chance to win an ORIGINAL piece of Hoverboy artwork, painstakingly recreated by TY TEMPLETON, co-curator of the HOVERBOY ONLINE MUSEUM.  It’s worth it, as it costs nothing, is great fun, and something you won’t be embarrassed by later in life, when you hang the artwork proudly in a bathroom or work shed.

TY THE GUY, Hoverboy Fan Club Member #0008

To share post:

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DIGITAL HOVERBOY FRIDAY

Here we go again, fellow Float Fans!  It’s that day of the week, and time for the greatest bucket wearing hero of the twentieth century (and 2nd greatest bucket wearing hero of all time!) HOVERBOY!   This week:  Hoverboy goes DIGITAL!

We start with the Hoverboy: FLOATING FIGHTER video game of 1982, manufactured in the EXCITE-O-VISION format from Softie Games.  This unique format promised to be the first home-system 3-d graphics on the market, with an effect that was described by the designers as “graphics floating in front of your very eyes”.  Naturally with a slogan like that, they set their sites on the leading floating character in the super-hero market to launch their fledgling game company.

When Superman turned down Softie Games, they tried to get the license for Captain Marvel, and then Hawkman, followed by Dr. Fate, Ghost Woman, Sky-Man: The Helium Filled Detective, Thor, Casper the Friendly Ghost, The Blimp (from the Inferior Five), The Specter, Dr. Strange, Dr. Druid, Flight Boy, and a character I’ve never heard of elsewhere called “FLOATY: Clown Chimp of the Stratosphere”.

Eventually Softie settled on Hoverboy, and the rest is long forgotten history.

The first impediment to success was the design of the basic game.  Though the three-dimensional graphics of the EXCITE-O-VISION format were quite spectacular, the simple geometric figures and low-pixel backgrounds made the game seem dreadfully old fashioned for the sophisticated gamers of the eighties.   To top it all off, HOVERBOY: FLOATING FIGHTER was originally test marketed only in  the poorer counties of Louisiana and Georgia, a population made up mostly of low income African-American families, who had little or no awareness of Hoverboy, or indeed computer games for the home at that time.

The test-market scores for the game were exceedingly low, and the two phrases most often spontaneously given in written reviews were “Can I get my money now?” and “What the hell?  Who would do this for FUN?”

HOVERBOY: FLOATING FIGHTER was never released, and the money spent in developing it was lost.  Softie Games president, Lionel Jackson, was devastated by the adventure and swore off the game industry forever to his family and friends, mere moments before he was hit by a bus.

Another tragic loss, blamed on the HOVERBOY curse, by those too uneducated to know better.  Blamed on a drunken bus driver named Clement McManus, by the coroner for the city of San Fransisco, where the accident happened.

Next up:

Above is one of the more public tributes given to Hoverboy in recent years.  For fans of the movie “THE INCREDIBLES” there’s a moment near the beginning of the film, when Mr. Incredible heads up to his attic retreat, to wax nostalgic for his heroic past.   Eagle eyed Hoverboy fans like myself instantly noticed the clear nod to the Battlin’ Bucket on the top shelf to the right of the door.  Is that a HOVERBOY helmet up there?  It looks like the late sixties version, though it’s hard to say, considering how often the design changed from show to show, or even comic to comic.  At any rate, Incredibles Director, Brad Bird, is a well known Hoverboy fan, and has mentioned him in many interviews, so the familiar helmet isn’t all that unexpected.  Hoverboy references abound in Bird’s work, including The Simpsons, Iron Giant and Ratatouille (look for ‘em yourself, once you know they’re there, they’re easy to spot!)

As always, head on over to the nearly abandoned HOVERBOY MUSEUM for more about the history and future of this amazing and popular character from the world of Superheroes.

Coming up:  More Marvel March Madness as soon as I scan the Spidey Stuff.

Ty the Guy

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