Money Money Money Money! YAY! BUN TOONS!

You’ll notice none of these ideas involve real estate.

I’ve got the ideas.

Zing! Pow!  They come at a hundred miles an hour, all these million dollar ideas.

But I don’t want to keep them all to myself, so I’m having a sale.

And that was just ONE decade’s worth of smart juice, people.  Give me another few years and I’ll have five or six more ideas.  I promise, they’re coming ALL THE TIME.

Ty the Guy OUT!

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What’s the REAL million dollar comic book idea?  I’m glad you asked…

That’s Joe Simon and Jerry Grandenetti’s “GREEN TEAM” from the mid-seventies– a series so popular it was never seen again after one issue.

At least until last year.

Where it quickly failed again.

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For last week’s Bun Toon about a comic book character who DIDN’T fail, click here.

For the “Oh-boy-does-it-need-to-be-updated-” Bun Toon archive, click here.

The REAL Return of Bun Toons! YAY! YAY! YAY!

I’m afraid I have to charge you people a little more for these now, you’ll all be getting my bill.

Like MacArthur, I have returned.

I’ve returned to creating new issues of Batman ’66.  Returned to teaching….

and to whatever motivates me to draw the rabbit.

Apparently tomato juice and lemonade is good for chasing that musty smell out of my flesh.  It’s hard for me to judge, I have no nose.

Ty the Guy OUT!

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This is hardly the first time I’ve drawn Zombie Rabbits, by the way.  Here’s a page from an issue of Mad Magazine I did a couple of years ago, poking fun at DC’s habit of torturing all their heroes, and wondering when they were going to start on the kid’s characters…

In this case, Bugs is LITERALLY a stinker.

And there’s this:  I’ve already done two store appearances since the heart attack, and when asked to draw my Bunny in a fan’s sketchbook, here’s what I did…

Back to work, now net-peeples.

Speaking of…since the Bootcamp classes are starting up again, spread the word for me, okay?  We’re running an anatomy class and an inking class starting in a couple of weeks, and would love to see some of you there.

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For the first “return of Bun Toons” from a couple of weeks ago, ambitious though wrong…click here.

For the last original Bun Toon before the recent unpleasantness, click here. (It was back in EASTER!?!?)

For the Bun Toon Archive, going back years and NOT mentioning heart attacks at all…click here.

Trending Bun Toons! YAY!

Because bunnies always have their fingers on the pulse.

Today, the return of one of my many hugely popular recurring characters, because I go where the enormous crowds are.   Torn from today’s headlines and entertainment phenoms.  I give you…

As a savvy follower of media, let me report to you that the Zombie Apocalypse is official.  If cable news is following the story, it MUST be true.

Ty the Guy OUT!

Here now, you BONUS Zombie Comic Book Moments:

The first appearance of Marvel’s popular Zombie, Simon Garth. The birth of the meme.

The peak of the meme. Now a major motion picture starring Natalie Portman.

A parody too far. Where memes go to die. Gaze upon it, ye mighty, and tremble.

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For the FIRST appearance of the Contessa and her troubled love life, click here.

For last week’s elegant and tasteful BUN TOON “take” on DC’s new gay super-hero, click here.

For every elegant and tasteful Bun Toon ever, click the bottomless bunny’s bare butt.

Where Santas Dwell. The Top Seven MONSTER Santas.

This is Italian manga, whatever the hell that is, so it doesn't count as a "real" comic book. Send your angry emails now.

This joyous season, it’s hard enough to get your shopping done, wrap the gifts,  and put the tinsel on the tree, without having to escape the many monstrous incarnations of Santa out there, ready to rend your flesh, feast on your bones and make soup from your eyeballs.  Lord knows, I never pull it off.  It’s why I’m mostly bionic nowadays, having lost much of my original body parts to a zombie Santa years ago.  Still, it’s worth it, just to see the look of horror and shock on the innocent faces of the little children Christmas morning.

Here now…

THE TOP SEVEN MONSTER SANTAS  IN  COMIC BOOKS.

#7

Sure, the Nazis are great traditional monsters, with giant ghostly Nazis doubly so–But it takes that extra bit of pure evil to put on a Santa beard and hat before you go haunting people.  Fascist bastards.  I hope they lose the war…

#6

Santa Claws, get it?  It’s a pun!  And a bloody obvious one, at that, though it’s usually reserved for pictures of kitty cats in red stocking caps.  At least this version of the pun will rip your face off and make it into a sandwich.  That’s an X-Mas “yule” remember.  See?  Puns are fun.

This is, by the way, the first ever published work of Mike Deodato Jr. , and it’s been all downhill ever since.

#5

He knows when you’ve been sleeping, and he knows when you’re awake, which is a pretty frightening thing when you consider it.  And whoever knows fear – BURNS AT THE SANTA-THING’S TOUCH!  AHH!  AHH!  AHHHH!  That will warm up even the coldest winter nights.

#4

Milk and cookies?  MILK AND COOKIES!?!?  I need the blood of virgin children to survive!  Maybe comic books ARE bad for children after all.  Or maybe they’re only for BAD children.  Either way, the comics code is spinning in its grave, which is zombie-like behavior anyway.

Speaking of zombies….

#3

It’s hard to tell, but that looks like a reindeer leg.  If so, this monster Santa is  not so much as zombie, as someone who likes game meat, and who doesn’t? (Well, maybe my vegetarian wife…) Myself,  I’d eat the whole set of reindeer  except Rudolph, as the glowing nose suggests radiation poisoning.   Still, no milk and cookies for this bad boy, either.

#2

The Nightmare Before “The Nightmare Before Christmas”.   The best part of this, by far is that he disguised his face with a plastic mask, but didn’t bother to cover up his rotting meat hands.  I guess Santa wears green gloves anyway, so kids wouldn’t know to run until he got close enough to smell.

#1

Robots aren’t usually considered monsters (unless you count my dishwasher, which is clearly satanic on every level), but Futurama’s Robot Santa works at it enough to qualify.  His annual killing spree was one of the best reasons to love the TV series, and it’s good to see he visits the comic stores with equally vicious abandon at this time of year.   John Goodman hasn’t played a character this evil since King Ralph.

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That’s it for today Christmas shoppers.  Join us back here tomorrow, when the good citizens of the world fight back against this parade of dangerous Kris Kringles in part three of our week long festival of unpleasant Christmas imagery.   The Jolly Fat man goes down hard!

Ty the Guy OUT!

For those who missed it:  Click on the image below for yesterday’s entry: WHEN SANTAS ATTACK!

Click here for more violence for this happy season!

Here now, your Christmas time comic book moment of zen:

Sometimes, Santa fights for OUR side in the great monster war.