When Santas Attack! The Top 7 Homicidal Santa Comics

Christmas is a time for giving, for sharing, and for running for your lives from a St. Nick gone mad.

We start our Christmas week countdown, here at Art Land, with the Top Seven  homicidal Santas on a killing spree.  Beware, kids…SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!

#7

We start slow.  This Santa is armed and likely dangerous, and I’m worried that I can’t see his eyes…but at least he’s not opened fire…YET.  The only one he’s currently harming is himself with that cancer stick.  BAD Santa.  BAD.

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#6

My favorite part of this is that Santa has clearly decapitated Sonic and his pals, and the only expression Sonic can manage is one of mild annoyance.  That’s rolling with the punches, no?

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#5

NOW, we’re talking.  Santa is tired of simply LOOKING menacing, and he’s started the hand to hand combat.  If ever there was a reason to go all “EMO” for the holidays, it’s that Santa broke your goddamn jaw.

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#4

Punching Robin with the bag of presents:  Not bad.  Shooting at Batgirl:  Excellent.  Trying to escape a snowmobile on a three man bobsled without skis:  That takes a level of insanity that works for me.  Go crazy Santa, GO!

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#3

Wearing all those tight fitting clothes UNDER a Santa suit would be hot and itchy, so who can blame Kingpin for opening fire?  And when you consider this happened in DALLAS…?  It’s a wonder Mr. Fisk didn’t die of heat stroke before he had a chance to shoot someone.

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#2

It’s not like the elves know how to build armor piercing bullets, so I don’t see what this homicidal Santa is trying to achieve, unless he’s attempting suicide by super-hero.  If Iron Man has dipped into the spiked egg nog (as is his wont) then this could end very badly.

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#1

By far, the best homicidal Santa cover of all time.  Dig that crazy expression on the dude driving the motorized sleigh, fellow babies.  And he’s not just running down pedestrians…he’s running down INJURED pedestrians.  That’s a killer Santa I can respect.  Don’t give ‘em a chance, Kris Kringle.  Once they’re dead, the voices in your head will finally stop!

That’s it for today.  Join us tomorrow for the TOP SEVEN MONSTER SANTAS, it’s sure to give you kids the same nightmares that today’s list gave you.

Ty the Guy OUT!

Here now, your Christmas Comic moment of Zen:

Isn't the Phantom Strange the spirit of the Roman guard who killed Christ? I seem to remember that from Secret Origins...Nice artwork on this cover, though...

15 responses to “When Santas Attack! The Top 7 Homicidal Santa Comics

  1. Has DC actually published a comic in which
    - Batman smells
    - Robin lays an egg
    - the Batmobile loses a wheel and the Joker gets away?

    If so, I’d like to read it.

    Also, who rhymes “away” with “egg?”

    • The original lyrics to the Batman Smells song was written by an eight year old child on a playground in Brooklyn, in 1952. We make allowances for assonance.

      • My four year old just learned of this old xmas chestnut, but insists that the actual lyric is “And the Joker played ballet.”

        I have to admit, it does make a certain amount of sense in context.

    • Batman: Black and White features a comic strip based on the rhyme. In it Batman regales Alfred with the tale and ends the comic by giving the cliff notes version which turns into the familiar rhyme

  2. The Spectacular Spider-man you have listed, #7 on your list is my favorite, probably because I remember buying it at my LCS when it came out.

    The story names in that issue are great, too:

    http://www.xowcomics.com/issue_stories.htm?issue_id=41222

    “You’d Better Watch Out” and “You Never Make a Sound”

    Cheers!

    Steven G. Willis
    XOWComics.com

    • Christmas comics always have cool names. My favorite is “Silent Night, DEADLY Night” from a Batman comic of the Seventies. But it’s hard not to like “Ho-ho-homicide!” too.

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  4. Funny, you can actually see at least 7 comics with that title to a story:

    http://www.xowcomics.com/search.htm?s=all&c=storytitles&q=silent+night+deadly+night

    I bet you are referring directly to the Batman #239 from February 1972.

    Two interesting items to note…

    1) A Superman comic had the same title for a story in under a year.

    2) The cover for the Marvel Two-in-One is most cool, with The Thing and Ghost Rider.

    Cheers!

    Steven G. Willis
    XOWComics.com

    • Well, seven is stretching it a bit, as that includes the same story reprinted a few times. The Christmas with the Superheroes book reprints the Batman story, and the Essential Two in One reprints the Two in One story….but it’s such a delicious title, it’s hard not to use it. Yes, I’m referring to the 1972 Batman comic…one of the first I ever owned. (I would have been ten years old at the time.)

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  10. LMAO!!!!! God, I love this stuff! What a treat these are, Ty. =)

    The Phantom Stranger’s Biblical origin is one four different takes on the subject of the Stranger’s past and appears in Secret Origins (1986) #10. It’s a great read and highly recommended.

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